Feb. 18th, 2011 07:33 am
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
First, I need to thank [livejournal.com profile] gatorgrrrl for the box of chocolates and [livejournal.com profile] layne67 for the cute and cuddly gopher. I'm always a little bit mystified at the amount of cuteness that manages to end up on my profile page despite the fact that I hardly post anymore. *hugs*

And I wish I had a Con report to post, but I haven't written it yet for the same reason that I haven't replied to comments on the picture post. I seem to have picked up a flu bug on the way back from California and have been flat out on my couch for the last 48 hours. I have to work tonight, so I'm hobbling around this morning just to see if I actually can, but nothing involving thinking or creativity has transpired inside my brain since Tuesday. Sorry for that. I do have a report started.

I would like to share one little teaser, though.

As you might know, the Friday night concert at the con was, once again, the Brian Buckley Band, which has gotten mixed reviews. I'm not going to make any judgment on them since I haven't heard them, but I do get the feeling people only went to that in order to see Jared and Genevieve. I guess that's as good a reason as any.

A few of us used the opportunity to get away from the hotel and venture out into Hollywood. Louden Swain was playing at the Viper Room. For those of you who don't know, (which is probably only me until last week, LOL) Louden Swain is Rob Benedict (aka the Prophet Chuck) and his band. They posted on their website that they'd be playing the Viper Room on Friday, so a few of us made the trip. I had never heard Louden Swain and wasn't sure I'd like them, but hey, it was a chance to see the Viper Room. As it turns out, the Viper Room is just a really small room painted black with a mirrorball, a stage, and a bar. All the tables had 'reserved' signs on them, and man did my feet hurt from standing the whole time, but the music was awesome. Afterward, we hung around outside on the street while the band packed up (we were parked right behind them) and waited for the meter to expire, because, you know, gotta get your money's worth out of those parking meters, LOL. Mostly it was just the people we rode with and a few other ladies from the convention kinda talking with band and with Rob, and my friend and I kinda hung on the outskirts, since we don't really do the fangirling thing, but just as we were about to get into the car, Rob came over and gave us both a big hug and thanked us profusely for coming all the way out there to see him. At which point, of course, I told him it was worth it and that I really enjoyed it. I was a little surprised he did that, since I wasn't even sure he knew we were there to see him, but I guess he saw us getting into the car with our friends and put two and two together that we came from the convention.

Anyway, I couldn't buy any of their CDs or t-shirts or anything, because I had absolutely no room in my bag for one more thing. However, when I got home, I hunted down their website and found out you can get all the CDs, a t-shirt, and an autographed picture for 50 dollars. I'd say it's totally worth it, and their most recent CD is streaming on the website if you want to sample before you buy.

Here's the link: http://www.loudenswain.com/

If nothing else, the lyrics should make you smile.

And this has been my public service announcement. That and, get your flu shots, childrens.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
First, belated thanks to [livejournal.com profile] almightyspaz and [livejournal.com profile] vanae for the baby otters and to [livejournal.com profile] jellicle for the adorable puppy. Sooo, cute! My profile is happy making. :D

Second, only two weeks until LA! I know a few people who are going to be there; [livejournal.com profile] kj_svala, [livejournal.com profile] heather03nmg, and [livejournal.com profile] 3rd_leg are going to be Me overloaded by the end of the weekend. I swear, I only stink a little. :P

Is anyone else going to be there??

And now onto the point of this post. Vampires. Funny story about last night's pre-emption of SPN. I mentioned it to hubby several times during the day that it wouldn't be on, and yet, he turned it over to the CW at 8:00 and said, "You didn't even remind me to turn it on." I don't know why I waste my breath. I also mentioned I wasn't planning to watch it, but again, deaf ears. Now the funny part is, he didn't bother to change the channel when Nikita came on. So, I came in and found him watching Nikita. The traitor. Well, okay, it was mostly watching him at that point. So, I clicked it onto American Idol which I had DVRed the night before. Long story short, they moved Nikita to compensate for the loss of audience to AI, and I still managed to turn on American Idol instead. (The AI abbreviation always makes me think of Artificial Insemination. I grew up on a farm. Sorry.)

About the vampires, though. Tonight we watched Lost Boys: the Tribe on Netflix. It was all right, lacked the plot twists that made the first one epic, but not bad as vampire movies go. But it got me thinking about Dean Winchester (like everything doesn't get me thinking about Dean Winchester, anyway.) Y'know, what I'm talking about, the Twihard episode? In this movie they went with a very similar plot, people get 'turned' by drinking the blood of the vampire, but aren't a full vamp until they make a kill and drink someone themselves. I got to wondering if there are any stories out there in which the infected humans hold out indefinitely.

The reason I wonder is, well we had Dean hold out for awhile, though it was portrayed as excruciatingly difficult. Not really a surprise for me, though, that he could do it, since he's basically had to hold out on the pursuit of anything that makes being human worthwhile. He's been doing that his whole life. I'm beginning to think being human's never going to be anything except angst fodder and misery in that universe, since they're obviously never supposed to enjoy it. Anyway, that's beside the point. It just made me think, though, how is it that people, Dean Winchester as an example, can basically abstain from the joy of being human, but people are seemingly unable to withstand the draw to become something other than human. I wonder why that is? What is human nature if it's so much easier to deny than the nature of the beast?

It makes me want to write a story in which someone is infected by a vampire or some other such creature and never succumbs to drinking blood or killing. I mean, we have examples of full vamps who drink only non human blood, but they still got fully vamped by giving in to the call. It seems vampire lore isn't entirely set in stone, or else how would you explain the Twivamps? I think, if it was twisted so that an infected person didn't actually need blood to survive but only craved it, there could be a fascinating character to play with. He (or she) could still have some of the power (I kinda like the idea of thrall myself) but be neither human nor vampire, indefinitely. How would other vampires treat him? How would he interact with humans?

Does anyone know of any stories like this? Because I kinda have it in my head that vamps are divided by this character, some who see him as a Messiah type, some who see him as a threat. It could be epic...

*is pondering* But really, does the world need another vampire story?
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Some several months ago (I can't believe how infrequent my journal posting has become :( ) I made this post about... dun-d-da-DUN... menstrual cups. OMG. It was a funny story that I gakked from [livejournal.com profile] menstrual_cups, and you should all really go back and read it now for a good belly laugh.

*waits for you to read it*

Done now?

Good. I have to admit feeling a small amount of guilt for having posted that. And why should I? It's a public post, right? True. It's a public post, but while it was entirely appropriate for the community in which it was posted, it was probably unfair to post it outside of a sympathetic environment where that might be someone's first exposure to the product. The comments in my post drive home the possibility that I might very well have turned some of you off the idea entirely, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. But, not having tried it myself, I couldn't really argue one way or the other.

So, I finally took the plunge, and now I do have something to say about it. It gets long, rambly, extremely personal, and entirely TMI, and will therefore be behind a cut. This cut right here. )
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (samheartdean)
It's Christmas Eve-eve here, about that time of year when I usually put up the link to my ages old Gen Christmas fic so you can all have get your Grinch removed by bigbrother!Dean, appendicitis!Sam, and a kitten while I facepalm at how terribly written that thing is. Well, not this year. I'm just too embarrassed by that story to post it one more time, but there will be nostalgia!fic at the end of this post for those of you who want to skip to the good stuff.

First, glad tidings.

I've been... okay, I'm not going to say I've been a terrible friend, because I've seen at least three of those posts on my list today, and all of them were from people who I would say definitely are NOT being bad friends. Whatever I have been, depressed, self-absorbed, disillusioned, or distracted, it's not oblivious. I have received v-gifts from [livejournal.com profile] sams1ra, [livejournal.com profile] unplugged32, [livejournal.com profile] captcrashsc, [livejournal.com profile] jane_eyre, [livejournal.com profile] jellicle, and [livejournal.com profile] ysbail that have all made me smile and decorated my profile page, which is so nekked these days. For whatever reason, maybe I was at work and just peeking online, or I had other people I needed to thank and didn't want to forget anyone, I haven't thanked you, any of you, enough. Thank you!

This week, the lovely [livejournal.com profile] apieceofcake and [livejournal.com profile] vanae each stuffed my mailbox with gorgeous cards and artwork. I now have something to put on my mantel, and the Jensen refrigerator magnets are going right over the one that says, "Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." My friends, you are all awesome, amazing, talented, and generous. I don't ever know how to respond to that sort of kindness, except with a heartfelt thanks. Again, thank YOU!

I've been removed from fandom lately. I have lost the love and excitement. It hurts. I know it sounds a little drama queen-esque, but I haven't had this sinking feeling in my chest for a couple of years now. I thought I'd finally figured out how to rise above it, but it's back again, and stronger than ever. So, there's no inspiration for fic and no muse to squeeze it out of me, and if I'm honest, I'm not working very hard to get it back. Sometimes you have to just cut your losses and move on. But then, today, I got a response on a fic poll I posted way back in season 3. (ETA: After getting a second poll response, I checked storyfinders and discovered someone was searching for dyslexic Dean fic. LOL. I really should watch that comm.) Anyway, I went back and looked at the fic and the one I posted before it, and there was what I've been missing. There was my Sam and my Dean back when I didn't hate either one and really thought the best ending was just the two of them together forever. I don't feel that way anymore, but I think it can't hurt to revisit that feeling again, just for a day or so. It's Christmas, after all.

So, I'm pasting those fics in here, as much a Christmas present to myself as to anyone else who wants to re-read or read for the first time. Whether or not you read any farther than the cut, Merry Christmas, flist. We've made it another year. Here's hoping life brings us all what we seek, or at the very least, what we need to be happy, and because they're a part of our family, too, may Sam and Dean get their happy ending as well, whatever that may be.

Comfort and Joy

Summary: Sam taught Dean to read, three words at a time, with focus and conviction.  From Hell, Dean teaches Sam to listen the same way. Pre-series thru Season 3, AU where Sam saves Dean in more ways than one. Because I know that's what a lot of people wanted for Christmas that year. Gen fic. Rated PG. Less than 2000 words.

Dean Reads )

Summary: Sam saved Dean in this one, too, but not without consequences. Too short for a summary really, just a random ficlet about what Sam would do if he had all the power in the world. Sam/Dean established relationship. PG Less than 500 words.

Let There Be... )

Merry Christmas
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I must really have running on the brain, or at least, been reading too many race reports. I was skimming my flist, saw the headline "Adam's schedule for the UK" and automatically read it as Adam was going to run a 5K.


Oh, apparently I'm not allowed to make this post unless I'm prepared to first go back and comment on every single post on my flist, since having time to journal in your journal obviously equates to having time to read for entertainment. Y'know, because being sick, outlining for Script Frenzy, working, writing on half a dozen WiPs, and planning a fundraising challenge leave so much room for just staying in touch. Heck, if I defriended everyone on my flist who never comments on my journal, I'd have an flist of about five people. Boo-friggin-hoo. I'm tired of worrying about what all the other kiddies are doing that doesn't involve me. Bleh.

Erm, okay, I guess I just accidentally mentioned Script Frenzy, but that's the last you're going to hear about it. Not because I don't value your encouragement, but honestly, do all those nanowrimo posts really help anyone finish Nanowrimo? No. So, yeah.

Wow, this post has turned kinda snippy. Sorry 'bout that. I'm actually in a pretty good mood. Funny how moseying on over to LJ ruins an otherwise good mood. Cae sura, sura, I suppose.

LOL, "Dream a Little Dream" is on right now, and Sam just asked Dean, "What's wrong with you?" And I totally linked that in my mind to the video where Jensen's talking about proposing to Danneel. LOL. So, I guess now Sam's supposed to say 'Yes.' Bwahaha.

I've sadly stopped caring about what's happening on SPN and what will happen. I still enjoy watching, but I don't think about it at all except when it's on. I guess that's what I've been wishing for ever since mid Season Two, but it's still a little sad. For what it's worth, I still don't care to hear or read anything negative about it. If people don't like it, why don't they just stop watching?

Wow, this is a whole lotta rambly nothing. I guess I just needed to vent. Yay me.

I work all weekend. I'm sad because my inbox has been glaringly empty for like a week. I'm glad to be back running but disappointed at how slow I feel after a week of being sick. But hey, all my foot pain has gone away. Meh. I dunno why I started this post.

Oh, apparently we can get a bunch of those LIVESTRONG yellow wristbands. I get them free, so I dunno how cost effective it would be to offer them to anyone who wants one, especially since a lot of you live overseas, and I've never sent anything overseas in my life, but hey, if it's always been your life's mission to get one of those wristbands, I can probably hook you up. :/

Whattaya all think of a WiP meme? Like, you offer x-amount as a donation to the charity, for the next scene of a WiP you're following? Gah. I'm just full of terrible ideas. Which is why I failed at sales. LOL.

/end stupid.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm not. Dead that is. Doesn't mean I don't wish I was. Okay, so, no, I don't wish, but a decent block of uninterrupted by coughinghackinggaggingretching would be appreciated.

Turns out that 'cold' I had tickling in my throat last weekend was some kind of flu that I have now hopefully inflicted on everyone at work. My voice has two ranges, sexass gravelly, bluesy, been smoking for a hundred years and proud of it, and... Tinkerbell. And it randomly jumps from one to the other. I haven't been able to run since Wednesday, and judging by the escalation of my cough since my run(worst 8 miles of my life) on Wednesday, I shouldn't have done that then. But hell, it was 77 degrees and nice, and I'm anxious to acclimate myself to the heat and humidity since summer is quickly approaching. But yeah, huge mistake.

I might need a saline drip just from the amount of fluid I've lost from coughing until tears stream down my face. Which, I wouldn't mind so much, except it doesn't seem to accomplish a damned thing. Nothing is moving. I'm looking at this cold medicine bottle and wondering what is the point of having and expectorant AND a cough suppressant in the same medicine? Are they just trying to drown me? Is that how it works? And yeah, that 'cooling' element they put in it is totally just there to mask the buuuuurrrrrnnn. Oh man, as soon as that cooling wears off it's like I've been breathing fire.

But okay, enough of that. You get it. I'm sick. Blah,blah. Been there. Done that.

Regardless, not much is getting accomplished over here. I may or may not have signed up for something that I shouldn't have, which I'm not going to talk about on here, since that's usually counter productive, but I definitely need to boot Final Draft and work out the bugs or redownload Celtx which I haven't had on this new comp yet.

And while I have quite a few WIPs circulating of late, (and yes, they are still P'ing. LOL.) I think Nightblindness is beckoning to be finished. I posted that snippet the other day, and the next day I got a comment on the post on super_real, which makes think I'm on the right track. Besides, if I want to have a novel length story published by the end of the year, I need to finish the friggin' thing. I know most of you haven't/won't read it because of the pairings and subject matter, but honestly, it's my best work. So, yeah, writing on that at the moment.

And I'm thinking about that comment fic meme fundraising idea, which I've already set up comms for, since wouldn't it be kinda awkward if people I have banned in my journal were to find out by trying to do somehting charitable, LOL. The original idea was that anyone could post prompts and that Tracer and I would answer them, and if people like what we write, they can give something to the charity, whatever's in their hearts, ya know? But I was thinking that some people's charity IS their writing, so I wonder if maybe we shouldn't allow anyone to answer the prompts, still have the prompter contribute to the charity if they're moved to do so, and then give incentives to the contributing authors who 'raised' the most money. For instance, my Team LIVESTRONG contact has offered an incentive to the Chicago Team of a Team LIVESTRONG bag which cannot be purchased anywhere to any team member who raises a thousand dollars before June 1. I was thinking we could turn around and offer the bag to the highest contributing author if we make that goal. And if we don't, anything from the LIVESTRONG store, which has awesome stuff. Possibly the bag for the biggest contributor and other LIVESTRONG merchandise to the second?? What do y'all think? Should we just keep it to me and Tracer answering prompts, or should we let anyone contribute in any way they can, which means, writing if writing is what they do? I still think this is preferable to say, an auction type fundraiser, because no one pays ahead of time, no one pays for something they don't like, and there's no deadline for authors to worry about. Just if they're reading along and see something that awakens the muse, they can write at will.

Ah, well, lying in bed leads to too much thinking, and it's Saturday, so no one's even around to read this post anyway. LOL. Just ignore me, a'ight?

*goes back to bed*
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
And boy am I in a state. :/

I feel like I owe some of you an explanation, since I posted fic with comments disabled and didn't include a poll or anything.

cue explanation/whining with a side of self-loathing and hair pulling. )

So there, done with my morning cry. You all know what's up. And now I can go out in the freezing cold and run until I don't care anymore. Wheeeeeee!

On an upnote, some bright, intelligent Cambria-Friesland High School Alum went and created a Cambria-Friesland High School Alumni group on Facebook, and I've hooked up with more people from 'home' in the last two weeks than I probably did in all the years I actually lived there. (Scarily, I'd forgotten how many of them I am actually related to. They mention a common aunt or uncle, and I suddenly go, "Meep! We're cousins. I forgot about that. LOL.") Ah, small Wisconsin towns. You gotta love 'em.

ETA: Is Clif really too naive to realize that 90+%(totally made up number) of his 3000 followers probably came from LJ? Methinks he doesn't understand the internetz as well as he thinks he does.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I usually try to thank everyone individually, but my inbox isn't getting any less full of things I need to reply to. I just want everyone to know that you made my day on Saturday. I had to work, and so did Dan, so he gave me a banana nut muffin with candles on it (so NOT in my diet) and a cute piece of cardboard with Happy Birthday, Love You, 35 written on it. Hahaha. I'm still waiting on the running shoes and the stopwatch. :P

Like I said, I was at work. I did sneak online and try to reply to people if I saw a Happy Birthday post, but I couldn't always get the time. I hope I've caught everyone, but if not, feel free to tug on my pant leg or something.

This list is mostly from memory, so I'm positive I forgot a few.

Thank you, thank you to everyone who took the time to say Happy Birthday or send a hug.

[livejournal.com profile] tigriswolf -- she wrote me fic!
[livejournal.com profile] ysbail -- love the V-gift!
[livejournal.com profile] heather03nmg -- fireworks. Hee! That's what happens when you spend too much time spooning.
[livejournal.com profile] sams1ra -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] jjsgatlantis -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] cologne_chick -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] raloria -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] almightyspaz -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] vanae -- Most awesome card ever, AND Jensen with a horse FTW! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] chocca2 -- got the book, card, and bubble soap yesterday. Whee! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] leighm -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] lexzilla -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] unplugged32 -- Used her last ten minutes of internetz to hunt me down. Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] prophetofdoomy -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] pixel_0 -- Thank you! And thanks for the beta!
[livejournal.com profile] sarahk_63 -- Pressies! For me! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] layne67 -- Thanks so much!
[livejournal.com profile] apieceofcake -- Always gorgeous! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] ewanspotter -- Thank you! And gentle hugs so as not to hurt your sunburn.
[livejournal.com profile] i_o_r_h_a_e_l -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] tigremere -- Got my party pants on!
[livejournal.com profile] starry_ice -- MWAH! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] larienelengasse -- Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] beta124 -- Howdy new friend! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] morning_sunlite -- Thanks so much!
[livejournal.com profile] kaz2y5i6y -- hope I spelled that right! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] qultng1 -- Thanks, Nana!
[livejournal.com profile] nocturniquette1 -- Fairy with a flute FTW! Thank you!
[livejournal.com profile] nontimebotree -- I'm afraid, very afraid! MWAH!

Whew! I hope that's everybody.

Again, thank you all so much!


On to new business. This isn't my health and fitness filter, but I gotta say, these workout endorphins are potent, because I spent most of yesterday reading through that anon meme that everyone's talking about, and I didn't even get my feathers ruffled. Call me mellow yellow, I guess. Though, apparently all the bigbangs suck this year, so the pressure is off to make our good, eh, Chocca? Apparently so long as we post something that's not a J2 AU we'll get someone to read it. Damn, and I really have some great ideas for J2 AUs. :P

Anyway, I'm supposed to be at work right now. Went in, and my boss said, "Guess what? A's in Georgia, and I don't know if he's ever coming back. If you go home right now, can you work tonight?" So, me being gullible, said yes, and now I have to work tonight and all weekend, and the plans we had to celebrate my birthday are all shot. But there's only me left. One auditor MIA. One on vacation until Friday. And one on medical leave. There were only four to begin with. What am I supposed to say? *shrugs*

Anyway, I guess I have all day to nap and work on bigbang. Wish me luck. And I'll try to reply to my comments on the health and fitness filter before this weekend, because it's week 4, and I have results to post and changes to make, and woohoo! I feel good!

*smooshes everyone*

ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
LOL. I thought I posted this this morning before I left. Now, I just logged on after work, and here it is sitting, waiting to be posted. Ah, well, it's still relevant, even if no one's around.

Thank you everyone for making this a wonderful birthday. *giant hugs*

Little story. Kinda depressing, but you can't talk about how far you've come until you at least mention where you've been. I'll keep it brief. Work in an hour. Sigh.

Little secret. I didn't especially like school. I know, that's funny coming from someone who kept going into grad school. I guess what I mean is I didn't like being AT school. I just mostly preferred being at school to being a home.

This is that scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian has to tell Edward why she didn't buy more than one dress.

They were mean to me. I know. Kids. Mean. At school. Wow, that's profound.

Back in elementary school it was pretty bad. We lived very close to the high school, so we were the last pickup on a school bus that went to the high school where we changed buses for the grade school. So, by the time my sister and I got on, there was no place to sit, and everyone on the bus was bigger than us. Now, it sorta computes that the one seat we always found open would be the seat of a kid with a not so great self esteem himself, but back then, this guy was just... he gave us the name Snort. Actually he called my sister Snort and I was Frankie for Frankenstein, but Snort stuck because it fit with our last name.

It would've been fine if it'd stayed on the bus. Five minute ride, tops. But it didn't. It went to the grade school. No one would talk to us. Everywhere we went people were shhhhhhhiiing with waving fingers... spraying for cooties... and yelling "Snort!" If someone accidentally got touched by one of us, they had to be sprayed. They sprayed for repellent. They made the spraying noise to just annoy us. Threw pennies at us on the bus. I know, cry more. Whatever, kids are mean.

I didn't much care. Okay, I did care, but I just read a lot and stayed by myself. I didn't need them anyway, right?

And then came the annual trip to the Vilas Park Zoo in Madison. We went every year. I was six, and for some reason, our teacher that year decided we all needed a zoo buddy. A partner from the class. Fine. I resigned myself to being picked last and maybe ending up with the teacher as my buddy.

Instead, the teacher made me pick my buddy. First. From anyone in the class. Me. Pick. And that was the worst possible thing she could've done. Because hiding in books and keeping your head down in class doesn't prepare you for looking up and seeing everyone look away and knowing, at six years old, that you're about to ruin someone's day, because everyone in the class would rather spend the day with anyone else but you.

Anyway, I picked a girl. She spent all day avoiding me. By the time I got to high school, I had a truce with most everyone. If they didn't go out of their way to be dicks, I wouldn't go out of my way to make them look stupid, and we all got along fine.

My God, Tracy, why would you tell us that depressing story?

Because. The other day on Oprah, they were talking about how the brain develops and how, at six years old, we are the person we will be for the rest of our lives.

I'm not that little girl.

I look back, and yeah, sometimes I look forward, and find both scenarios less than stellar, but if I draw the most logical path from where I started... there are so many worse places and so many worse ways I could've ended up in life. And I might have the occasional bout of depression but I do appreciate my family, friends, creativity, art... so much. I'm pretty darned happy most of the time.

Which just goes to show. You don't 'end up' anywhere in life. You get there by the seat of your pants or any way you can. And if you don't like... well, maybe you ought to change your pants.

(Sacha darlin', that's the most beautiful card I've every gotten, and I waited until this morning to open it just like you asked. *throws confetti* LOL. I lurve you so much!)
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Someone who shall remain anonymous, LOL, unless she doesn't want to, helped me remember why I'm here in the first place.

Jensen, Jensen, Jensen, Jensen. Glee!

Just saw [livejournal.com profile] ze_pink_lady's vid of his Asylum panel where he talks about Danneel and Icarus and now I have the stupidest grin on my face and the urge to write Jensen/Danneel, which is insane because I don't write Het. Okay, so I write it, but I don't post it, and I don't read it, because there are just too many squicks in Het for me to chance it.

But the point is, I'm a Jensen fangirl. Not a Supernatural fangirl. I get very little squee out of reading SPN related posts anymore. Which makes me sad, because I still love the show dearly, but I don't really care to hear anyone else's take on it. At this point, I've been here since early in season 1, and I can pretty accurately predict how certain people are going to respond to certain things, and it's all really, really tiresome. Especially when it affects the way I view the show.

Problem is,this is a fandom journal, has always been a fandom journal, and everyone I know here with exception of a few, I met through fandom. So, I can't just NOT be exposed to it.

But if, hypothetically speaking, I wanted to lessen the fandom effect and focus more on my Jensen fangirling, and now, my Adam Lambert fangirling, where would I go? What sites do Jensen fangirls watch, anyway? I mean, I didn't have a computer back in my Dark Angel days, so when I did get one, Jensen was already on Supernatural, so it was easiest to get my Jensen fix by following Supernatural posts and whatnot. But surely there is a Jensen fandom outside of Supernatural? With like, sites and communities and whatnot? Anyone? Anyone?

Help a girl out. Please? *puppy face*

And this is not to say that I don't like Jared or Misha. I just want to be able to focus on Jensen and not feel like I have to make consolations to anyone else just because they share a credential. (Besides, Misha already knows he's awesome, so that takes 90% of the fun out of fangirling him. LOL.)

Hmm, I dunno. This post might bring in some haters, I suppose. Should I be worried? Nah. Not locking.

All that being said, I'm not going anywhere, just trying to be more selective about what I entertain myself with online. And I realized I haven't got many options since all my online business is SPN business. I need to change that. Plus, I have too many WIPs to leave now. :P

So, in case you missed it. This is a call for links. Also, because I am stupid, what is a Google alert, and how can I get some?

Bigbang question post coming up shortly. ;)
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
And being a farm girl, I still think Artificial Insemination every time I see American Idol abbreviated that way. :/

Cut because I'm entitle to be emo after eight years, and you're entitled not to read. )

Oh, and I might have signed up for [livejournal.com profile] spn_meanttobe. Like I needed another prompt challenge considering I never even started my Disney one and still haven't finished the Overboard one. LOL. But when I see a prompt I like, I get grabby. Sue me.

58. A Soldier Caged

He'd lost blood and comrades on the world's battlefields, but neither compared to losing his memory. Waking up in a secret military bunker, drugged, with vague images of a mission gone bad, Jonah had nowhere to turn. Until help came in the form of the one woman he'd always remember....

Psychologist Sophia Rhodes never got over the bad boy who'd stolen her good-girl heart a decade ago. But without military training, how could she possibly steal Jonah from a high-security facility? She had only one hope--that he'd never forgotten her, either. Sophia knew the breakout was the easy part. Somehow she had to help Jonah focus his hazy images--before a desperate man made sure he'd never remember....
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Sorry it's not a snippet post. :( I am writing, just preoccupied. I think things will smooth out when I find out our bigbang post date and can get a decent timeline worked out in my head.

I forget why I opened this post box. I know it's not because I have two Dreamwidth codes to give away, because from the massive number of these posts on my flist, I'm pretty sure no one wants them anymore, LOL.

Oh, I know!

So, I get giddy when someone on ff.net favorites me, and I look in their profile and find not a single other SPN author on the list. I feel special. And then, the paranoia sets in... Why do they read my stories. Why do they not leave feedback? What if they're just stealing them to post in a non-SPN fandom knowing I'll never find it?

What do y'all think when something like that happens? Flattery or potential thief?

Oh, and someone, I won't mention who, since I don't much care to get beat about the head with branches, mentioned that they may have seen an SPN story with some scenes in it that were disturbingly similar to scenes from Derelict? Anyone else seen that? From what I heard, it's a Sam and Dean Gen story with a boat, and the story is mostly original, but the jellyfish and everything that comes after is scarily similar? Anyone? Anyone?

Ugh, I still have comments to answer from my last post, so uh, yeah... *is ashamed* I haven't forgotten y'all. But for now I have to go to work.

On another note, I have most of my important stuff backed up, so if my comp dies, it should be okay, but now I'm really antsy to get settled in on a new computer. *twitches* And I have a question. I have Microsoft Office on here, and all my editors require files to be submitted in .doc format for editing, so I need it on my new comp. But I do not use anything in the Office Suite except Word and sometimes Excel. Does anyone know if it's possible to install just one or two parts of the program? Also, I can't find the stupid key for the one I have, and I really can't afford to buy it again. I don't suppose it's possible to just take it off this comp and install it on that one?

This is all.

But I do have those invite codes if anyone wants them.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm not going to do a big reveal "Voila this is my bigbang summary" post. I just feel weird about it still. So protective of this story, and to be honest totally afraid for it. I haven't even read any of the other summaries. I do not want to know. LOL.

But I will have you know I AM a thousand words into the J2 AU fic I mentioned the other day. Somehow, it's become, Jensen's a hairdresser going to business school so he can get his Dad's backing on his own salon, and Jared's the "housekeeper" Jensen hires through an internet site called UndertheRug.org. Jensen's an abstinent homosexual (read virgin) and really thinks Jared's a housekeeper, and Jared is nervous as hell because he's usually expect to perform sexual favors on these gigs, and he's never had a male client before. BWahahahahaha! I'm such a dork. This is angsty crack. And I even like Danneel in it.

P.S. Can anyone tell me what's the correct way to spell Danneel's name?
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
My horse is officially a Winchester.

Dan's brother, who we haven't seen for years, since before his Mom died, at least, showed up out of the blue today. We had heard he was in town, but figured he'd moved on by now. But anyway, he showed up, unannounced, and I spent my Sunday cleaning house instead of sleeping. I hate unannounced guests, but I do love knowing we're not completely alone in the universe, even if I know for a fact there's not anyone we can count on in a crisis but ourself. Wow, pessimistic me is pessimistic at 2:30 in the morning. LOL.

But anyway, Dan and his brother were standing in the barn drinking a beer and talking about my horse, Winchester. And Winchesters's a giant groper, I gotta say, always has his lips on something. The big bugger stuck his head sideways through the stall door and wrapped his lips around Sarge's beer can, and took it out of his hand. Bwahahahaha! He truly is a Winchester. I wish I had a picture.

Meh, I'm feeling kinda sickly tonight. I thought I was just thirsty, but I drank a ton of water and my throat's still dry and scratchy as hell. The other day one of the machine attendants was in my lab doing his drop tests, and I swear he sneezed 20 times. I just knew I was gonna catch whatever he had. Sigh. And it couldn't have hit me a couple days ago when I'd have the weekend to sleep it off. Ohhh no. Had to hit me tonight when I have to be to work tomorrow. Ah well, maybe it'll go away. LOL.

Few pics of my ponies behind the cut )
Brat in sunlight Brat in sunlight
My baby. Probably the most photogenic one of my horses. He just has those bedroom eyes and the most adorable personality.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm sure there was a reason I opened this post box, but now I cannot remember what it was. LOL. It's because I have not slept yet. *sigh*

Um, so, we're probably actually going to finish our bigbang draft. It's over 17000 words now, but I really do not know how it ends. It wants to be happy, happy death!fic, and I do not DO death fic, even if if it is happy, happy, ya know?. Anyway, anyone on my filter might actually get a real summary and some decent snippets come next weekend. *crosses fingers*

Cut for little amusement about 4.19 )

I'm using Firefox. Safari was taking so long to load and crashing my comp if I stayed online more than a few hours. I know! Just get off line, stupid! But whatever. I have always had trouble with Firefox dumping my add-ons and revertng back to default every time I rebooted. But so far so good, and might I say, I like the LJ add-ons. But overall, I still hate the way Firefox LOOKS. Is there any way to get a decent looking font that doesn't look all scraggly and washed out?

It's working really well, though. *knocks on wood*

I've come to decision on Dreamwidth. I signed up for my OpenID and verified my email. If they actually do give invite codes to everyone with a verified email on the 30th, then I will take a look around and probably open an account.(No way in hell I'm paying for one.) But it won't be a fandom journal. It won't have this username. I won't be crossposting everything in twenty places. Nor diverting comments over there. Y'all will probably not even see me. I'm thinking of life after fandom. I don't intend on joining any other fandoms, and when this one peters out, I will happily be fandom-less. (I'm kinda addicted to The Deadliest Catch, but I don't think it has a fandom, and if it does I don't want to know. It's really the only other show I watch besides Ghost Hunters and sometimes American Idol.)

I just do not see the point of going somewhere else to do what I already do here. I just don't. And while the idea of really huge posting limits for comments strikes me as good, I don't get the need to have a 50,000 word posting limit for an entry. Can people really read 50000 words in one sitting? Don't they lose their places? I just... yeah, 10,000 words in a story part are more than enough, and very convenient for actually conducting my life between chapters.

So, there's that. If I open an account, it will probably be somehow related to my penname, and it will be one of those sad little blogs with no comments on it, and I'm fine with that. LOL.

Anywho, now I need to shower or something, because Dan's gonna expect me to go grocery shopping seeing as how I'm not sleeping... I hate the grocery store. Stealing my monies! :(

OH, Oh, oh, oh, one more thing. So, I was doing my Jari Love, "Ripped" DVD, which I haven't in awhile, and I laughed when Jared asked Gaylene if she watched what she ate, and Gaylene said, "I watch it as it goes into my mouth." Ahh, I forgot how that DVD makes me laugh. You know, Jari Love is Canadian, I think, and I watched that DVD like ten times, before I realized that, when she said, "Good on ya," she wasn't complimenting some chick named Anya who was lurking just off camera. *is done amusing myself. Sorry there's so much showing outside a cut, but I only wanted to cut the epi stuff, and yes, multiple cuts work, but you can still see what's behind one when you click another, so I don't really do that very often.

P.S. Where the Hell is the PREVIEW button on the post box?!! Ah, the joys of testing a new browser.
Now playing: Brand New - The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Was linked HERE by [livejournal.com profile] country_bee and I totally agree with her sentiment. He IS too good for us. I am so not worthy. LOL.

Just had to share that.

I'm pretty sure there was other news, but as of this moment, it eludes me.

Work sucks. I'm tired. And I'm hungry. That's it in a nutshell.


*is sad*

Apr. 15th, 2009 09:16 am
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I must be stupidly hormonal, because I saw like ten posts about Dreamwidth on my friendslist when I logged on from work, and I actually teared up.

It was one thing when everyone was jumping ship because they were afraid we were all going to be deleted or lost in the ether, another when they just want to. I feel obsolete. LOL.

Anyway, I won't be going over there. This is a permanent account. I've been wearing the same shoes for three years, and the same eyeglasses for fourteen. Why? Because they're paid for.

Anyone else feel like chaffe?

I mean, when I first discovered fandom and fanfiction, I only posted on sn.tv. And then someone opened my eyes to ff.net, where OMG there were so many more stories, and there were even some GOOD ones, and you could keep lists of faves and get alerts, and woohoo, best thing ever. And then someone linked me to LJ, where, WOW the REAL writers are there. And eventually, I moved there, cuz I wanna be real, too, ya know? LOL. It's like we're all wheat, and every so often something comes along and shakes us up to find out where the real wheat is and where the chaffe is. I'm tired of trying to be wheat.

You can only chase the sunset so long before you're stepping on your own shadow, I guess.

So, anyway, that's my longwinded way of saying, I'm not going over there, and I'm just hoping this isn't destined to be The Pit.

That being said, if I had invite codes for everyone on my flist who wants one, I'd totally give them to you. Go. Be wheat. Feed the world. LOL.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Hmmm, seems like there's some drama over on [livejournal.com profile] padacklesrps. And if I'm brutally honest, from reading the threads, the drama is coming from the members, NOT the new mods. The mods are just trying to do their job and make things easier for everyone. I dunno. I see a lot of new RPS comms popping up, and I'm just using this opportunity to say, I'm not migrating to any of them. I know none of you care, but seriously, even the "proposed" changes to the comm are not nearly as strict as most of the other comms I post on. I don't get where people think anarchy is better.

I am a member of [livejournal.com profile] padacklesrps, [livejournal.com profile] super_real, and [livejournal.com profile] cw_rps, not to mention, [livejournal.com profile] jsquared_rps which has moderated submissions for crying out loud. How many more do people need?

And that's not even to mention [livejournal.com profile] supernaturalfic which I regularly bitch about but still recognize as the best place to post if you want to be seen, and they totally allow any kind of fic.

People are just leaving a bad taste in my mouth about all of this. Maybe I should stop eating people...

*shakes head*

ETA: In light of recent events that came about after this post was made, I will not be staying with [livejournal.com profile] padacklesrps but I maintain that I will not be joining the hundred or so other comms sprouting up in its wake.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Wow, I feel like I haven't posted in forever, but it actually hasn't been so long. But I'm not sure I've actually made a journal entry in awhile anyway. No real news, anyway, because there really isn't any, but that's not to say good things aren't happening.
Oops forgot the cut )
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
This isn't fandom related. Just something I'm wondering that's probably completely pointless to post on a Saturday night right before I leave for work, but I'm going to do it anyway.

With regard to statcounters and pingbacks.

Firstly, I don't think LJ has worked the kinks out of their pingback feature yet. On my last two big posts I posted them privately in my journal while I worked on them and then made a current post linking back to them so the dates would be accurate for future reference. I know that's anal, but whatever. Anyway, I got pingback notifications for the links I posted in my own journal to links further down in my own journal. I found that amusing. But on both those entries, I have found (by browsing comms and other journals) that those posts have been linked back to many times and I have only received a notification for one. The posts I found where I was linked were at least public enough for me to read, so I don't think it's an issue of them being linked in a locked post or anything. Anyone care to venture what's up with that? Just an LJ glitch?

And statcounters.

I have a few. The most obvious one is the sitemeter in my sidebar, which y'all can't see without going to my actual journal page since I have custom comment pages disabled. Here's the thing. Every week I get a little update on that. And the numbers are downright puny.

For example, it said, on the day I posted that fic, that I had 72 hits to my whole journal. o_O I also have an invisible counter on certain entries. The invisible counter said I had over 1600 hits that day, just to those two entries. Mostly to the one, but a few to the other.

Here's what I think the issue is. I think when I set up the sitemeter, I set it up to record only new or unique hits. I did that because I know most of the hits on my journal on days when I'm not posting fic are me. I don't mind it counting me once, but I don't want to be counted twenty times in one day. I think I assumed, (wrongly) that it would record unique hits within a certain time frame, like within 24 hours or so. I now believe it is only recording unique hits altogether. So, once you've been to my journal for anything, you're counted and will never be counted again.

Could that be the case? I just cannot figure out any other reason why I get so few hits on my sitemeter.

On the one hand, it looks bad, lol, in case people actually look at that and compare.

On the other, I get 38 unique hits a day on average. And over 14000 unique computers have visited my LJ.

So, um, my question is, what statcounters do y'all use, and which do you find the most helpful?

That is all. Going to work now.


ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)

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