POV woes

Jun. 19th, 2011 11:01 am
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Y'know, it's really no secret that I hate anything written in first person POV, but as I try to work through yet another m/m sex scene, I'm gaining an appreciation for why people seem to do it so often. I mean, having the option of a whole other pronoun set to keep from having to constantly plug in the names is becoming more and more appealing all the time. It's hard enough keeping the he, his, and hims straight in a two man scene. Try it with three.

*grumble, grumble*

Still don't think I could ever do 1st person, though. Why write something you don't like to read?
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Just what the title says. I have a ton of docs open on my desktop, but my writing brain seems to be broken. All of them are long and complicated, unwieldy and just friggin' scary. I'm just flat out stuck. Plus I keep running circles in my head over whether or not to move back to Wisconsin. I have gone so far as to request money from my 401k and start looking for a more reliable vehicle that can actually, y'know, drive 1200 miles without breaking down in a smoking heap. In short, I'm kinda petrified, and I need distractions.

I know I've asked for prompts before and only a handful got written, but before I close out all the fic in this journal, I thought I might try to re-discover what it was like to write something for fun, just because.

So, as long as you won't be too disappointed if I don't write yours, I'm taking any and all prompts. J2, SPN, anything that doesn't specifically have to do with Seasons 5 or 6. I'm looking for comment fic or drabble length. Gen, slash, het, h/c, PWP, anything goes.

As soon as I post this, I'm going to bed, and then I'm going to sleep, and then I'm going to wake up, eat more than anyone my size should be able to put away, and probably sleep some more. So, nothing will happen before tomorrow, I don't think. But you never know.

Thanks for sticking with me while I flounder aimlessly about. *fishy lips and flopping about*

P.S. Post is not flocked, so anyone can prompt.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Steampunk angel soul pirates.

I wonder if it can be done.

I wonder if it has already been done.

Why does it remind me of Final Fantasy X? Nooooooo!

Okay, gay steampunk angel soul pirates.

That's better.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (samheartdean)
It's Christmas Eve-eve here, about that time of year when I usually put up the link to my ages old Gen Christmas fic so you can all have get your Grinch removed by bigbrother!Dean, appendicitis!Sam, and a kitten while I facepalm at how terribly written that thing is. Well, not this year. I'm just too embarrassed by that story to post it one more time, but there will be nostalgia!fic at the end of this post for those of you who want to skip to the good stuff.

First, glad tidings.

I've been... okay, I'm not going to say I've been a terrible friend, because I've seen at least three of those posts on my list today, and all of them were from people who I would say definitely are NOT being bad friends. Whatever I have been, depressed, self-absorbed, disillusioned, or distracted, it's not oblivious. I have received v-gifts from [livejournal.com profile] sams1ra, [livejournal.com profile] unplugged32, [livejournal.com profile] captcrashsc, [livejournal.com profile] jane_eyre, [livejournal.com profile] jellicle, and [livejournal.com profile] ysbail that have all made me smile and decorated my profile page, which is so nekked these days. For whatever reason, maybe I was at work and just peeking online, or I had other people I needed to thank and didn't want to forget anyone, I haven't thanked you, any of you, enough. Thank you!

This week, the lovely [livejournal.com profile] apieceofcake and [livejournal.com profile] vanae each stuffed my mailbox with gorgeous cards and artwork. I now have something to put on my mantel, and the Jensen refrigerator magnets are going right over the one that says, "Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." My friends, you are all awesome, amazing, talented, and generous. I don't ever know how to respond to that sort of kindness, except with a heartfelt thanks. Again, thank YOU!

I've been removed from fandom lately. I have lost the love and excitement. It hurts. I know it sounds a little drama queen-esque, but I haven't had this sinking feeling in my chest for a couple of years now. I thought I'd finally figured out how to rise above it, but it's back again, and stronger than ever. So, there's no inspiration for fic and no muse to squeeze it out of me, and if I'm honest, I'm not working very hard to get it back. Sometimes you have to just cut your losses and move on. But then, today, I got a response on a fic poll I posted way back in season 3. (ETA: After getting a second poll response, I checked storyfinders and discovered someone was searching for dyslexic Dean fic. LOL. I really should watch that comm.) Anyway, I went back and looked at the fic and the one I posted before it, and there was what I've been missing. There was my Sam and my Dean back when I didn't hate either one and really thought the best ending was just the two of them together forever. I don't feel that way anymore, but I think it can't hurt to revisit that feeling again, just for a day or so. It's Christmas, after all.

So, I'm pasting those fics in here, as much a Christmas present to myself as to anyone else who wants to re-read or read for the first time. Whether or not you read any farther than the cut, Merry Christmas, flist. We've made it another year. Here's hoping life brings us all what we seek, or at the very least, what we need to be happy, and because they're a part of our family, too, may Sam and Dean get their happy ending as well, whatever that may be.

Comfort and Joy

Summary: Sam taught Dean to read, three words at a time, with focus and conviction.  From Hell, Dean teaches Sam to listen the same way. Pre-series thru Season 3, AU where Sam saves Dean in more ways than one. Because I know that's what a lot of people wanted for Christmas that year. Gen fic. Rated PG. Less than 2000 words.

Dean Reads )


Summary: Sam saved Dean in this one, too, but not without consequences. Too short for a summary really, just a random ficlet about what Sam would do if he had all the power in the world. Sam/Dean established relationship. PG Less than 500 words.

Let There Be... )

Merry Christmas
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Some of you guessed correctly. Woohoo!

Anyway, my summergen fic is The Name of My Soul. The person I wrote it for dropped out, it seems, so I'll never know if she liked it. Also seems as though the person who got my prompts dropped out, as one of the pinch hitters wrote mine. LOL.

Anyway, I might crosspost this someday. I want to rework the ending first, since I feel it's a little heavy-handed compared to the rest of the story, but in case anyone was wondering what I wrote and, like me, didn't have time to read through them all, there it is.

There's also a handy Summergen 2010 Master List.

I don't know about y'all, but I'm ready for summer to be over ASAP.

Hope everyone is well, getting back to school and tackling whatever obstacles life's throwing at you. If I'm not around to comment on your posts, it doesn't mean I don't care. *squishes*
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Heading out for my long run day. How long, you ask? I don't even know. LOL. *consults the archangel miCoach* Um, looks like 1hour and 45 minutes. Hopefully, that will work out to around ten miles, but I'm feeling kinda wiped, so we'll see.

But whatevs, I got my pink crush running skirt on, so I'll look cute no matter what. LOL.

I think I'm caught up on comment replies for the last two posts at least, so I feel safe making another post,at this point. I'm in a mood for confessions.

First confession, I posted that meta on m/m fiction on my Facebook where all my family can read it, and so far, no one's disowned me, but I highly doubt my auntie will be asking me to send her stories ever again. LOL.

Second confession, I totally forgot there was a con going on this weekend. :S I'm so out of touch.

Third confession, I'm really amused and thankful for all the milk and cookies on my profile page, especially the part where almost everyone who sent them felt like they had to say something about there not being any calories. LOL. So, Heather, Jo, Keren, [livejournal.com profile] mini_moue and [livejournal.com profile] jane_eyre thank you for looking after my assets. LOL.

Fourth confession, I don't comment there, but I lurk on the anonmeme all the time. I like it there. There are at least one or two people there who could be me. Some of the best show discussion in the fandom either happens there or is linked from there. The fact that I never get mentioned hurts my feelings. LOL. If you or your friends have been bashed there, I'm sorry, but that's not all that happens there. I like it, because you can discuss show without worrying about hurting anyone on your flist's feelings. And when someone's talking out of their ass, people are quick to point it out. You don't have to like the idea of it or go there, but I think a lot of people are biased against it based on third or fourth hand information, and that's really unfortunate. Like I said, though, I'm brave enough to lurk there, but I don't comment, which makes me kind of a pansy. Whatever.

Fifth confession, I am not happy with show right now.

Sixth confession, I know how it ends! BWahahahahahaha! If you wanna know, look behind here. Spoilers only if you haven't seen every other episode up to now. )

And it's a good thing I'm not Catholic, because I think I just abused my confessional privileges by feeding you that line of B.S. I'm so going to Hell.

Seventh confession, I appear to be loopy on caffeine or something.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
M/M Fiction. Am I Doing Anyone Any Favors?


I don’t really know where this post came from. I suspect it’s been brewing for awhile, though, judging by the beating my lawn took when it all came bubbling out yesterday while I was cutting the grass. I’m not even sure what exactly this post is about, or if there’s a specific point, but I’m going to try to make one. Just hang with me, a’ight?

Generally speaking, like, general as in the world is round, except when it’s egg-shaped, and the sky is blue, except when it’s gray, this is about m/m fiction. If you’re reading this as one of my LiveJournal friends, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you linked here from somewhere else or just found it by accident, you might not. So, in a nutshell, it’s about stories in which the lead pairing is a man and another man. I write it. I read it, though not as much as I used to, and I’ve been fortunate enough to even sell some.

The question is, why? )
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
All my lamenting about the Sam and Dean relationship being unhealthy and how much they need more time apart, and I wake up with the urge to right first time, codependent, angry, angsty wincest.

Now to contain it to only one scene. *drums fingers on chin*

If I don't finish by Monday, I'm not gonna finish.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm not. Dead that is. Doesn't mean I don't wish I was. Okay, so, no, I don't wish, but a decent block of uninterrupted by coughinghackinggaggingretching would be appreciated.

Turns out that 'cold' I had tickling in my throat last weekend was some kind of flu that I have now hopefully inflicted on everyone at work. My voice has two ranges, sexass gravelly, bluesy, been smoking for a hundred years and proud of it, and... Tinkerbell. And it randomly jumps from one to the other. I haven't been able to run since Wednesday, and judging by the escalation of my cough since my run(worst 8 miles of my life) on Wednesday, I shouldn't have done that then. But hell, it was 77 degrees and nice, and I'm anxious to acclimate myself to the heat and humidity since summer is quickly approaching. But yeah, huge mistake.

I might need a saline drip just from the amount of fluid I've lost from coughing until tears stream down my face. Which, I wouldn't mind so much, except it doesn't seem to accomplish a damned thing. Nothing is moving. I'm looking at this cold medicine bottle and wondering what is the point of having and expectorant AND a cough suppressant in the same medicine? Are they just trying to drown me? Is that how it works? And yeah, that 'cooling' element they put in it is totally just there to mask the buuuuurrrrrnnn. Oh man, as soon as that cooling wears off it's like I've been breathing fire.

But okay, enough of that. You get it. I'm sick. Blah,blah. Been there. Done that.

Regardless, not much is getting accomplished over here. I may or may not have signed up for something that I shouldn't have, which I'm not going to talk about on here, since that's usually counter productive, but I definitely need to boot Final Draft and work out the bugs or redownload Celtx which I haven't had on this new comp yet.

And while I have quite a few WIPs circulating of late, (and yes, they are still P'ing. LOL.) I think Nightblindness is beckoning to be finished. I posted that snippet the other day, and the next day I got a comment on the post on super_real, which makes think I'm on the right track. Besides, if I want to have a novel length story published by the end of the year, I need to finish the friggin' thing. I know most of you haven't/won't read it because of the pairings and subject matter, but honestly, it's my best work. So, yeah, writing on that at the moment.

And I'm thinking about that comment fic meme fundraising idea, which I've already set up comms for, since wouldn't it be kinda awkward if people I have banned in my journal were to find out by trying to do somehting charitable, LOL. The original idea was that anyone could post prompts and that Tracer and I would answer them, and if people like what we write, they can give something to the charity, whatever's in their hearts, ya know? But I was thinking that some people's charity IS their writing, so I wonder if maybe we shouldn't allow anyone to answer the prompts, still have the prompter contribute to the charity if they're moved to do so, and then give incentives to the contributing authors who 'raised' the most money. For instance, my Team LIVESTRONG contact has offered an incentive to the Chicago Team of a Team LIVESTRONG bag which cannot be purchased anywhere to any team member who raises a thousand dollars before June 1. I was thinking we could turn around and offer the bag to the highest contributing author if we make that goal. And if we don't, anything from the LIVESTRONG store, which has awesome stuff. Possibly the bag for the biggest contributor and other LIVESTRONG merchandise to the second?? What do y'all think? Should we just keep it to me and Tracer answering prompts, or should we let anyone contribute in any way they can, which means, writing if writing is what they do? I still think this is preferable to say, an auction type fundraiser, because no one pays ahead of time, no one pays for something they don't like, and there's no deadline for authors to worry about. Just if they're reading along and see something that awakens the muse, they can write at will.

Ah, well, lying in bed leads to too much thinking, and it's Saturday, so no one's even around to read this post anyway. LOL. Just ignore me, a'ight?

*goes back to bed*
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
In a word... ooky. (K, now I just started singing the Adam's Family Theme song. That can't be good. I'm all together ooky...)

So, yesterday, well, actually Saturday afternoon and through the day and night on Sunday, I had this miserable weak feeling all over, which I thought was just because I took my Trikke out for an hour and a half on Saturday, which I haven't done in a long time. There's this awesome hill with nice, fresh pavement. I couldn't resist. But Sunday, the weak and achy moved into my throat and upper chest, and I realized it wasn't just post workout crap.

Sunday was my day off working out, so no biggie. Just had to deal with work. Then, yesterday I was off work but had an interval workout planned. I thought all day I would have to skip the workout. But I kept rethinking it. I've heard if the sick is above the neck, you can workout anyway, and if it's below, you should call it off. No word on sick that's kinda in the back of your throat and moving downward. LOL. So, I went for my run anyway, and it was kinda awesome. The last time I did that workout, I crapped out in the middle. Intervals are murder! But this time, all the way through. So proud!

But today, my throat's swollen shut, and my chest rattles. Bleh.

Good news is, I finally got enough caffeine into myself to clear the headache, so I can almost think straight. I might get some writing done. I'm working my way through Nightblindness verse. This might sound like a stupid question, but would 20,000 words of porn work as a conclusion for y'all? Because that fic has been on hiatus while I scroll through all the possible ways to fix the uber mess I've landed them all in, and as cliche as it is, sex seems like the only cure. Here, has a snippet:cut for fic spoilery and for mentions of boy-kissing, touching. )

--

And on the subject of the comment fic meme I mentioned in my last post about fundraising, Tracer and I were considering a 'one-scene' challenge, something where we give people the moment in time they always wanted. Y'know how, sometimes you re-read a whole fic or book just to get to that one perfect scene that you've got all dog-eared and bookmarked? Y'know how you sometimes watch the show and go, "Why don't they just.....???" Maybe you like the hurt more than the comfort, so tell us who gets hurt and how much it hurts, and we'll write it for you. Or maybe you like the comfort better, then you tell us who's hurt, and where/from whom he takes his comfort. A secret needs telling? A confession that needs to be made? A chick flick moment that just HAS to happen? Basically, y'all give us the canvas and brushes, and we'll paint the scene. One scene.

D'ya think that would fly?

Anyway, now I am sleepy. Off to bed. MWAH!

Hmm....

Feb. 25th, 2010 07:38 am
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Has someone recced, "The Second Man?" Because there was a huge jump in hits on that in the last day, and at first, I thought the hits were for "Diggin Deep," but nope, it's Second Man. And I start getting shifty eyes when people suddenly start showing up unannounced. People, if I'd known you were coming, I'd have baked a cake.

>.

Posted...

Feb. 24th, 2010 07:56 am
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Next chapter of Digging Deep is up. I'm not too sure on that one, but hey, comments are disabled, so I guess if everyone hates it, I'll never know. LOL.

Also, posted a humorous gadget review on the running blog. There be kitty pics! Yay!

I'm still working out the kinks over there. And for those who asked, the charity we decided to go with is... *drumroll*... Team LIVESTRONG and the Lance Armstrong Foundation. They apply money to cancer research as well as into educating and supporting people with cancer and their families. It's a great cause, and it seemed fitting, since Lance also hails from Texas. There's no minimum fundraising balance for us if we buy our own bibs into the race. We really want people to be able to give what they can, when they can, because they believe in the cause and not because the two of us are desperate to hit a minimum goal and get into the race. That doesn't mean you're not going to hear about it and get linked to our fundraising pages regularly. If I'm sweating my butt off and limping through the miles, the world is going to know I'm doing it for a reason.

We haven't set up the fundraising page, yet because Tracer wants to wait a week or so to purchase her bib. I'll probably snag mine when she does.

So, there ya go.

On a random note, most of the snow has melted, but there's still ice over my car door. :/
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Tracy has just got out of bed after 4 and a halfish hours sleep. She has to leave for work in a little over 3 hours. In that time, things she MUST do, include, make something to take to work for lunch, feed the horses, and shower. These things should take about an hour. With the other two hours, Tracy should:

A) Go back to bed. 4 and a half hours isn't enough sleep.
B) Nice 2 hour run, since yesterday's run got cut short, and she has a lot of basebuilding to do before Chicago.
C) Write the next Chapter of Digging Deep, which she has actually got a good start on.

And now you see what I go through every day. I'm really sorry it's taking me awhile to update my stories, but I do sometimes get inspired for them while I'm out running. LOL. Who knew marathon training was like a second job?

Also, Yay SPN, sixth season. A couple months ago, I really could've cared less. But right now, I think I might like more. I'm greedy like that.

*smooshes to all*
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
And boy am I in a state. :/

I feel like I owe some of you an explanation, since I posted fic with comments disabled and didn't include a poll or anything.

cue explanation/whining with a side of self-loathing and hair pulling. )

So there, done with my morning cry. You all know what's up. And now I can go out in the freezing cold and run until I don't care anymore. Wheeeeeee!

On an upnote, some bright, intelligent Cambria-Friesland High School Alum went and created a Cambria-Friesland High School Alumni group on Facebook, and I've hooked up with more people from 'home' in the last two weeks than I probably did in all the years I actually lived there. (Scarily, I'd forgotten how many of them I am actually related to. They mention a common aunt or uncle, and I suddenly go, "Meep! We're cousins. I forgot about that. LOL.") Ah, small Wisconsin towns. You gotta love 'em.

ETA: Is Clif really too naive to realize that 90+%(totally made up number) of his 3000 followers probably came from LJ? Methinks he doesn't understand the internetz as well as he thinks he does.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
First, I have a new layout. And I love it. So there. [livejournal.com profile] tru_faith_lost

Second, unless I die or fail to make the fundraising goal ($3900.00) I'm planning to run the Chicago Marathon next October. And yes, it's the same weekend as Chicago Con. Maybe I can get them to sign my race bib. :|a

Anyway, it has begun. If this kind of thing annoys you, defriend or filter out. Whatever trips your trigger.

Here's where I am in my training. Week 10. Which means, four miles today. Right after my nap and strength training. Here's hoping I don't sleep through Supernatural tonight.



Base Building
Basically what it says.
Base Building



P.S. Because I seem to have developed a ravaging case of unfulfilled expectationsitis that is sucking the life out of my muse, any fic I post for the time being will likely be WIP and posted with comments disabled. The end.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
So for some reason I was checking out the big bang posting schedule... Oh yeah, I was looking for a few people who apparently aren't on the list... *is sad* and realized our posting date has been moved from July 20 to August 12.

Woohoo! More time for editing. LOL. But, wow, what a way to find out. :S.

Anyway,j anyone who's interested, the schedule has changed. I've heard back from one of the artists that the date was actually changed because she'll be in communicado for most of July, so yeah. I got my wish. End of the summer posting date.

How I love to tweak. Though, if yesterday is any indication, my tweaking could turn this thing into three times the length of the draft. :P
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
And being a farm girl, I still think Artificial Insemination every time I see American Idol abbreviated that way. :/

Cut because I'm entitle to be emo after eight years, and you're entitled not to read. )

Oh, and I might have signed up for [livejournal.com profile] spn_meanttobe. Like I needed another prompt challenge considering I never even started my Disney one and still haven't finished the Overboard one. LOL. But when I see a prompt I like, I get grabby. Sue me.


58. A Soldier Caged

He'd lost blood and comrades on the world's battlefields, but neither compared to losing his memory. Waking up in a secret military bunker, drugged, with vague images of a mission gone bad, Jonah had nowhere to turn. Until help came in the form of the one woman he'd always remember....

Psychologist Sophia Rhodes never got over the bad boy who'd stolen her good-girl heart a decade ago. But without military training, how could she possibly steal Jonah from a high-security facility? She had only one hope--that he'd never forgotten her, either. Sophia knew the breakout was the easy part. Somehow she had to help Jonah focus his hazy images--before a desperate man made sure he'd never remember....
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm not going to do a big reveal "Voila this is my bigbang summary" post. I just feel weird about it still. So protective of this story, and to be honest totally afraid for it. I haven't even read any of the other summaries. I do not want to know. LOL.

But I will have you know I AM a thousand words into the J2 AU fic I mentioned the other day. Somehow, it's become, Jensen's a hairdresser going to business school so he can get his Dad's backing on his own salon, and Jared's the "housekeeper" Jensen hires through an internet site called UndertheRug.org. Jensen's an abstinent homosexual (read virgin) and really thinks Jared's a housekeeper, and Jared is nervous as hell because he's usually expect to perform sexual favors on these gigs, and he's never had a male client before. BWahahahahaha! I'm such a dork. This is angsty crack. And I even like Danneel in it.

P.S. Can anyone tell me what's the correct way to spell Danneel's name?
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm experimenting with websites again. The freewebs thing just wasn't what I wanted. I know it seems stupid, since I have all of one story to put on it, but I want one just for my non fan works.

I discovered this free flash site, and I wonder if anyone would take a peek and tell me if it loads for them?

Erm, the site isn't nearly finished, just a home page and a teeny bio, one thing in the gallery, and a bunch of links that go nowhere. LOL. Also, I forgot a disclaimer, and I probably need to make that artwork less recognizeable. Bleh, but it's not on search engine's so hopefully no one's looking for it unless i link them.

I know I need to fix the Library link on the home page (but you can link to the gallery through the gallery buttons on any other page) and the font is a lot smaller than it looked in the editor. But I'm just wondering if the flash aspect works for y'all or if it's annoying. You can hover over the buttons and some of the images and see what the flash does.

On the other hand, maybe I'm the only one who can bring up the page. Let me know I might have done it all wrong. Go figure.

http://www.wix.com/burstynout/HT-Menu-Paper

ETA: Gallery is NSFW. LOL!

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