ht_murray | Crack!Fic... err... sorta...

Hmm, my New Year's Eve was mostly uneventful. We watched Season 1 of Supernatural since it's not possible to watch during the day. Admittedly, I fell asleep about halfway through Wendigo, didn't even make it to midnight. LOL. And I spent all day yesterdy on IM with

chemm80 working out the next chapter of "Cracked" so those of you waiting for a real update of real fic, that's coming in the next day.

A word to the wise. Do not fall asleep watching Supernatural and wake up with the television playing Happy Feet. Crack will be born. I kid you not.

For those of you who don't know the movie, it's about a baby penguin who prefers to dance instead of sing which makes him sort of... special.

I may or may not have watched it and got the sudden urge to write Sam/Dean as penguins in the movie.

No, no, I did. *shakes head*

Title: Saving Penguins, Hunting Things
Author:

tru_faith_lost
Pairing: Penguin!Dean/Penguin!Sam
Rating: PG-13
Words:~550
Warnings: language, lewd comments, reference to past mprenguin and egg-laying, spoilers for the movie Happy Feet, implied wincest, pure and utter crack, also a stylistic choice y'all might not care for.
Summary: After the female lays the egg, the male Emperor penguin guards it until it hatches, while the female goes fishing. This is what happens when you fall asleep watching Supernatural and wake up watching Happy Feet. Dean's glad to see Sam. Chicks love him. And Sam has fish breath. Also, their kid rides the short bus. There just might be something to that whole recessive gene thing.
Disclaimer: No claims of ownership, no defamation intended, no profit being made. Fiction.
A/N: It's not a metaphor. They're really penguins. That's why it's called crack. My New Year's gift to everyone in light of the fact that I fail at getting Christmas fic done anywhere near Christmas.

Now with art!

Photobucket

by the incredible

nilsi_pilsifan

Saving Penguins, Hunting Things (In the Family Way)

"Dude, it's about damned time you waddled your ass back home."

"Good to see you, too, jerk."

"I still don't see why I had to stay home with the egg while you went fishing."

"Dean, I laid the egg. That makes me the... what the fuck do you call a female penguin anyway...*shrugs* anyway, that makes me the female. And in penguin culture, the males guard the eggs and the females catch the fish... We can't blow our cover. Besides, no way I was sitting on an egg knowing you were out there chasing all that tail."

"Aw, Saaam... Sammmmehhhy... you know me better than that. You're all the tail I can handle. Speaking of which, waddle that sweet, tufted piece of fluff over here."

"Mmm..."

"Mmmnngh... Dude, your breath smells like fish."

"So does yours."

"Yeah, but mine doesn't come with chunks. *shudders* Next time a little warning before you puke in a guy's mouth."

"No one forced you to swallow."

"I always swallow for you, man, but you're supposed to feed the kid first."

"Where is our kid, anyway?"

"That's him over there."

“Which one? There’s like a hundred of ‘em following you around.”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? Chicks dig me.”

“Dean...”

“Fine. Ours is the one standing in that hole he’s worn in the snow.”

"What's he doing? Is that... dancing?"

"Yeah... about that... I'm beginning to think there's some truth to that whole recessive genes thing."

"Why?”

“C’mon, you think that’s normal?”

“Well, then, he got 'em from you. There's nothing wrong with my dancing."

"Sure, as long as you're not standing up when you do it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he got the dancing genes from me... Got his singing voice from you."

"What singing voice?"

"Exactly."

“That bad, huh?”

“He’s in Special Ed.”

“What?!! Well, I...”

“Whoa, whoa there, Tiger. You’ll give the little guy a complex.”

“I-I can’t help it. No one puts my baby in the short bus.”

“God, Sammy. You’re so fucking hot when you get your feathers ruffled.”

"EEEEEEWWWW! GROSSSS!!"

"You chicks just wait. Give it a year or so, after you hit moulting, and then we'll talk. For now, scram! Me and my... Sammy, got some catching up to do."

"Dean, what about him?"

"What? Him? I got him covered."

"Uh, I'm not making out with you while you're sitting on our kid."

"Why not?"

"Seriously?"

"It's my belly roll, isn't it? You leave me... with CHILD and run off with all those hot thin women for... for weeks, and now you're... you're too grossed out by my body to touch me."

"Dean..."

"I'll have you know this layer of fat is there for YOUR baby, Sam."

"Dean..."

"No, no, no... get your hands off me. You can't... can't... patronize me."

"I'm not trying to get my grope on, jackass. I'm trying to rescue our chick. I think you're smothering him."

"What? Shit! Oh, God, I'm sorry... There ya go, kiddo."

"Duuuude."

"What? It's not funny."

"Yes it is. How do you expect the other penguins to believe I'm the girl if you keep going on like that?"

"Uh. Well... Fine! Next time you get fat and sit on the egg. And I'll puke in your mouth."

"Fine, then I get to top."

"On second thought... Welcome home, Mommy."

"I missed you, too... bitch."

The End

A/N: I pondered fleshing this out, but I have a million and one other things already on the stove. I probably should've warned for dialogue only, since I know some of you don't like it, but really... they're penguins. I won't take it seriously if you don't. *is sheepish*

-Happy New Year!