![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The Dreaded Apocalypse Post...
Jan. 13th, 2009 02:57 pmMaybe not dreaded.
First, I want to say, yes, I know the Bible says no one knows the hour or the day. In fact, every time I hear that quote, I start singing Twila Paris... *sings* "Watch and pray, til we see Him coming, no one knows the hour or the day." I must've listened to that song twenty times on the trip between Wisconsin and Texas back when I thought all I needed to succeed in life was a good, true heart and the ambition.
Seems like forever ago.
A lot has changed in the last twelve years. Yeah, it's been twelve years since I left home. I feel a little like quoting A Tale of Two Cities, because "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," about sums up my life since then.
Except for the part where it's past tense.
It's never the past. It's always the best of times and the worst of times. Just, for anyone who's ever dealt with depression, you know, the worst of times seem to outweigh the best.
So, it's strange to me that I should accidentally be reminded that the forecast end of the world, December 2012, is only three years away, and suddenly, I feel like this huge weight has just been lifted.
I know. You're all thinking I'm one twisted, evil bitch who wants the world to end bloody so it can play into some fantasy I have about perseverance and the hand of judgment or some shit. But no. It's nothing like that. I don't hope the world ends in three years. I don't wish anyone to suffer seeing that.
But here's the thing. What if it does?
The thing with depression is, the darkness is so hard to carry. It never gets lighter, only heavier, and there are times when you think about having to carry that forever, and it doesn't seem worth the effort.
( The rest is going behind a cut, because not only is it way too much information, but also, much teal deering )
First, I want to say, yes, I know the Bible says no one knows the hour or the day. In fact, every time I hear that quote, I start singing Twila Paris... *sings* "Watch and pray, til we see Him coming, no one knows the hour or the day." I must've listened to that song twenty times on the trip between Wisconsin and Texas back when I thought all I needed to succeed in life was a good, true heart and the ambition.
Seems like forever ago.
A lot has changed in the last twelve years. Yeah, it's been twelve years since I left home. I feel a little like quoting A Tale of Two Cities, because "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," about sums up my life since then.
Except for the part where it's past tense.
It's never the past. It's always the best of times and the worst of times. Just, for anyone who's ever dealt with depression, you know, the worst of times seem to outweigh the best.
So, it's strange to me that I should accidentally be reminded that the forecast end of the world, December 2012, is only three years away, and suddenly, I feel like this huge weight has just been lifted.
I know. You're all thinking I'm one twisted, evil bitch who wants the world to end bloody so it can play into some fantasy I have about perseverance and the hand of judgment or some shit. But no. It's nothing like that. I don't hope the world ends in three years. I don't wish anyone to suffer seeing that.
But here's the thing. What if it does?
The thing with depression is, the darkness is so hard to carry. It never gets lighter, only heavier, and there are times when you think about having to carry that forever, and it doesn't seem worth the effort.
( The rest is going behind a cut, because not only is it way too much information, but also, much teal deering )
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
