This Song Makes Me...

[ht_murray]

This song makes me feel weirdly nostalgic.

It also makes me want vid of this song.

I have this story in my head that fits it, but I have no vid making ability whatsoever.

In my head, this is Dean POV. He's either just back from Hell and can't find Sam because Sam's totally gone off the deep end and demonizing the country side... or it's later. Either way Sam's gone darkside and Dean's chasing him across the country, not sure what he'll do when he finds him... *sob*

I suppose could also be Sam in the same situation, but I keep thinking Dean.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Makes me goosebumpley...

Which reminds me. Our bigbang is over six thousand words. Not a lot, but I'm kinda tickled with what we have. It's the strangest writing process I've ever engaged in. I like, log on to Dr. Wicked and set it for fifteen minutes and rattle off whatever scene is begging to be written. And I usually don't finish the whole scene... And then the next time I sit down, I usually start a whole other scene, cuz I want to write for the whole fifteen minutes, not stop to collect my thoughts. So, what it looks like now is some sort of weird connect the dots, but as someone who knows the story, I'm feeling like it's a LOT of progress, because if I sat down and forced myself to write everthing between the dots instead of what I'm inspired to write, the story would probably be stalled out at scene I.

I've also discovered there's a very fine line between dark, dark, dark, and deep-fried crack. There's times I think this fic is just deep fried to the point of being burnt. But I like it. I'm so glad our show gives us canon demons with crazy sarcastic voices and humor. *rolls around in snark*

And what is it with everyone reccing this monster long fic... *glares* I have this thing where I can't read anything I see recced more than three times on my flist because I can't read it without thinking that's what I have to write like if I want people to like me, and then I'm just reading it for the writing and being all critical of it instead of reading it for the story... Shut up. It's my own hang-up. I KNOW! I hate me. I do. But I usually love this author, and I want to read this story even if it will give me an inferiority complex from hell, but if I wait 'til the next part of it posts, it will be so long I will NEVER read it, and I want to... but why NOW? I have stuff to do! *is pouting*

Sorry for my little emotard post yesterday. But you are all so sweet for caring. *snuggles*

Comments

[maboheme.livejournal.com]

Wow, look at you making Big Bang progress! This fic sounds so interesting, lol.

I totally get complexes with over-recc'ed fic. It's why I try not to rec, lol. But you know I actually recc'ed that fic too...but I recc'ed it before anyone else did (haha!) b/c I know she didn't post it to comms so I didn't think many people had seen it. But then like 100 people recc'ed it after that and I felt weird then...cuz I also have issues with things being over-recced. Does that make sense?

Like there have been these couple of fics of late that have been so over-recced by like everyone on my flist and I sort of avoided reading them b/c I didn't have the time and then I was totally feeling similarly to you so I avoided reading them b/c I knew I'd get a complex. But I read as an editor pretty much now anyway...at least when I'm reading well written fic. I can't help but read it with a critical eye toward what people respond to about the fic.

Anyway, hi hon! I haven't chatted in a while :P

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Haha, HI! We so haven't chatted in awhile.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with that complex. I hesitate to say that in a post cuz it makes me sound... brace yourself... douchey. LOL. ( I can say that about myself, and I totally mean it in a bad way, which is why I don't like it to be used about anyone else. *steps off soap box*)

But yeah, I totally avoid reading things that have been recced everywhere. I usually eventually read them, like YEARS after the fact. I just read the Jared Padalecki Untitled Project over Christmas, LOL. I loved it, but I did have some issues, like why was Jensen the only one who needed to apologize for the way things went down? *shrugs* But I did enjoy it quite a bit.

We haz similar issues! That's why I love you. You validate my insecurities. LOL. Probably we'd be terrible people to call on if either one of us ever needed an intervention.

Haha, the bigbang thing... I'm kinda giddy, which I so shouldn't be considering the subject matter. I wonder if there's some Hannibal Lector in me...

[maboheme.livejournal.com]

I love your issues b/c you totally voice what I'm always feelin. Haha, we so couldn't be called for interventions. :D

I think I just have issues with reccing in general. Because I have a lot of rec comms and reccers friended in order to keep up on fic b/c I hardly check comms anymore. But...I've noticed that people pretty much (1) rec their friends, (2) rec the same 2 or 3 authors or same 2 or 3 fics OVER and OVER, or (3) rec already popular authors. And I know some of the fics that get recc'ed are definitely not the best of what is out of there. So to me reccs are just a political game in the end. Anyway yeah, that leads into me having issue with things being over-recced as well.

like why was Jensen the only one who needed to apologize for the way things went down?

That's the fic that got me into RPS so I have this insane love for it. But yeah, I totally agree with you -- I responded the same way about Jensen. I forgave that about the fic b/c that was during the time that everyone (or at least most of the BNFs were writing asshole!Jensen in their fics and asshole!Jensen was always made to grovel to Jared, lol. Did you notice that about early J2 fics? That was the most common characteristic of Jensen. It use to drive me up a wall. I was so happy that the characterization sort of morphed into everyone writing Jensen as shy in their fics by 2008, lol. Fanon characterizations are hilarious to me.

*smishes you* Go Lector! I'm glad you're having fun with Big Bang!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

We totally share a brain! Those are exactly my issues with fic recs, which is why I only rec the ones that I feel are completely overlooked. My rec tag has almost nothing under it.

Everyone did write asshole!Jensen back then. That's totally why some really big names in this fandom are not on my flist. I just could never get into that. I love shy Jensen, but I think that's starting to get scary, too. I find myself writing him more spazzy and take charge than I ever did before. I suppose maybe I was influenced by the bb gun story from Chicago con, but I wrote him pretty spazzy before that, too. I like him as a real guy who has serious reservations about a lot of things but sometimes just blows through them anyway, because life's too friggin' short. LOL. Or maybe I just can't handle all the angst the way I used to. *shrugs*

Big Bang is giving me giggling fits. I should not find puking yellow foam through nostrils to be as amusing as I do...

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

I've also discovered there's a very fine line between dark, dark, dark, and deep-fried crack.

Haha, um, can I say I know that feeling? xD But way to go on just writing! I feel like if I were to start cheering you on for this fic, I'd need to get, like, black pom-poms that spray blood when you shake them or something...lol. That's a compliment. Um, a very strange one, but suffice to say, I am looking forward to your oh-so-dark BigBang. For some reason, I've had this craving for well-written, solid, dark!fic. Ha.

I have this thing where I can't read anything I see recced more than three times on my flist because I can't read it without thinking that's what I have to write like if I want people to like me, and then I'm just reading it for the writing and being all critical of it instead of reading it for the story...

*sigh* You and me both. :/

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yay! Another brain twin! I think that makes us triplets, then. Now I don't feel so psychobitchy. LOL.

Oooh, bloody pom poms... that would so be in this story. I kid you not. I don't know if it'll be well-written or not, because I'm probably not taking it as seriously as I should, but that's what rewrites are for. *shakes head sadly*

*sits on your lap*

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Haha, no, no, you're not psychobitchy at all. You're just saying what the rest of us (i.e. me) are too afraid to say out loud. I was talking with a friend earlier last week, and how fandom's all about "Express yourself!" but yet, at the same point, there are only certain subjects that are "safe" because people get so afraid of stirring up wank and other people become so easily offended. Ack. I won't get into that ramble/rant, but yeah. :/

Dang girl! What are you writing over there? *g* I agree. Rewrites are there for a reason, as are handy editing features and all that jazz. Plus, if you're having fun writing the first draft, then, I think that's a pretty good sign right there. *nods*

Hi you. :)

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Hmm, what AM I writing over here? That's a good question. I'm not sure I know, but if you get leprosy or something just from reading this post, then I fear some of it might be leaking out.

I know what you mean, too about what you can and cannot say. It's why I don't post episode discussion anymore. I pick one specific thing and talk just about that if I must talk about something and stay away from the rest because everything is a hot topic right now. And that's just Show stuffs. That's not even mentioning all the actor RL stuff and whatnot. Nope. Nope. Nope. I have a strict policy of saying what I mean, so those are definite examples of times when I should just not say anything at all.

*nuzzles* Writing makes me cuddly.

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

*holds up hands* Well. I seem to be clean. No leprosy this way, so all is still well. Keep writing! :D

I agree in that it feels like everything is a hot topic right now. I don't know when/how it happened, but all of sudden, it feels like there's wank popping up left and right because so-and-so said this and so-and-so said that. Some days, there just feels like there's so much nastiness out there in fandom, and almost...as if people are just itching for a reason to pick at somebody's scab. idk. Honestly, I'm happy with my flist and the lack of drama there. Adventuring outside of that? Well. That's just dangerous territory sometimes. Yikes.

*leans into* I'd almost say that's a bit ironic, considering your subject matter. ;) *curls arm around you*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I'm guilty of having too many hot buttons myself. Which is why I took a lot of comms off my watch list. I suppose that makes me antisocial, but I'm really just trying not to sink my fangs into some poor unsuspecting fangirl. I should not take the show so seriously OR so personally, but I probably spend more time with those boys than with my husband. I don't know how that cannot be personal. *is ashamed*

It IS ironic, isn't it? I dunno if it's me wanting to fix what I just broke or if it's like when you're scared of something and you curl up in a ball under the covers where nothing can get you, but mmm...*puts head on your shoulder* I likes it.

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

I think that's good, though, (maybe "healthy"--for lack of better words--it's getting late and I'm losing coherency :P) that at least you can say, "Hey, I don't want to go and eat somebody" and steer clear of the things that make you upset. It's the people who continually put themselves in the middle of wank time and time again. And for what? To get some weird attention? Gah, I could go on and on about this, but I'll spare you all that.

Hee. I feel that some warm beverages and blankets are needed in this case. :)

With that said, I'm heading off to bed, so I shall talk to you later! Have a good night, sweetie! :)

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Sleep tight m'dear. I bet that polar bear makes a loverly pillow. *smoosh*

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

I like that song :-) You do post good music, thanks!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I can give ya the download link if you want it. I rather like it myself. *smooshes*

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Yes please!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Here ya go! (http://www.4shared.com/file/89174382/c508118c/13_-_I_Will_Remember.html?dirPwdVerified=d588868b)

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

THank you!!

[ysbail.livejournal.com]

:) I had things to do - and I read it anyways (mainly because I knew that if I waited for the second part it'd be over 150,000 words long and that would be too daunting)

But don't deprive yourself of it ...

And my bigbang is stalled ... I always find myself thinking about DT ... and that isn't a good thing despite it making me very happy to write it ...

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, people viewing my update record or late would think everything's stalled out. LOL. But having more inspiration than time isn't necessarily a bad thing. I know you're writing plenty... except when you're reading really long fic. LOL.

And I dunno. I might have talked myself out of reading that story. But then, I might be off this weekend and looking for a procrastination tool. Who knows, right?

*MWAH*