End Panic Attack, Teeny Apology, and a thought on 4.13...

[ht_murray]

Looks like the issue I was having earlier was an LJ issue, and not me... Hallelujah, cuz man, I'd done everything but buy a new computer, and I can't afford a new computer. *quivers through aftereffects of withdrawal* Ahhh, this is much better.

So, now I'm way behind on commenting as y'all commented on my last couple of posts, and I was saving those to answer tonight, and y'all been posting today, and I haven't been able to get to you.... *glomps* Okay, so I suck. I get it. I shall fix that. Promise.

And I said I wasn't gonna do episode reactions anymore, because I hate having my squee harshed by reading them, and I don't want to accidentally harsh anyone else's, but I do have one thought about the episode that's kinda bugging me. And no, it's not negative about either boy. It's more about... well, the way something was addressed. Can't say more out here...



So, the thing that the blonde chick said to Dean after he came out of the closet with the other chic. (I'm terrible with names... Angela? Amanda? Had to be Amanda, cuz Angela would just be too funny considering...) Anyway, um, she was pissed. I got that. And he was a horn dog. I got that. (Although, you and I understand he probably did that to avoid getting too attached to blonde chick.)

So, yeah, he totally deserved to get reamed out in front of the whole school.

But here's the thing... She didn't call him a horn dog, or a whoring man-slut, she called him a scared, lonely little boy. Um, yeah, that's the truth, but did that REALLY have to be the statement she used to turn the entire school against him? Is it really cool to ostracize someone for being damaged?

Personally, I'd have kicked him in the plums, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off somewhere to make it up to me, but then I lurves him, LOL.

It's just, he tries to hide that stuff, so he already thinks it's something to be ashamed of (not a lot of actual coping going on there), and way to just pour salt in it, ya know? Who needs Hell when you can walk around with festering wounds every day of your life?

Comments

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

I remember watching a stand-up show by this guy called Dane Cook (at least I think that was his name, but I forget) that said one of the main reasons girl's always triumph in arguments is that we're, and I quote, "brain ninjas". We know just where to hit to make sure that it hurts.

That said, I really agree with you. Yes Dean is/was a total horndog and yes the whole making out with another girl in the closet thing? So not cool. But man was what she said uncalled for. It was cruel on a totally unecessary level.

Personally, I'd have kicked him in the plums, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off somewhere to make it up to me

This made me giggle. Though again I completely agree with you, damned if I wouldn't be able to give up on him that easy. Especially when he really is worth it, baggage and all.

[sams1ra.livejournal.com]

I agree.
Glad the problem with LJ got solved ^__^

[unplugged32.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was uncalled for:/ But since the episode was going for maximum mental damage to both boys, I see why they did it;)

OMG, so glad it isn't your computer!!! What would I do without you???

xoxoxoxo

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

>> Personally, I'd have kicked him in the plums, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off somewhere to make it up to me, but then I lurves him, LOL.

LOL! Yep!

and agreed to the rest!

Glad it wasn't your comp!

[chocca2.livejournal.com]

*kicks LJ for you* Damn LJ!

4.13- I hear you on the scene with Dean and Amanda. Really made me feel for him. But I mentioned in my mini review, I think the writing for teen!Dean was lacking. *sigh*

Anyway...I'm still writing this first scene for bigbang. And I have FINALLY watched THE film relating to our fic \o/ I found a free stream!!! *pumps fist* SUCCESS!

[smidirini.livejournal.com]

Inciteful girl was inciteful :P Yeah, it probably didn't do his self esteem any good but I guess that was the point :( It was probably a pretty teensy thing in the road to Dean's giant wall of repression all things considered!

[samidha.livejournal.com]

Well, we know more about Dean than Amanda does...

What had ME totally confused was, she was all "You live in a motel?" and suitably weirded out and you could SEE her little teenaged brain going "this is where to get out of dodge, right here," and she didn't do it?

I mean I am not saying that at that point Dean deserved that, but I was... she was being too adult about it IMO.

Obviously it was an episode setup issue but I felt like it didn't make sense.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

Obviously, though the way that she ... attacked him like that and his reaction, it kind of made me want to climb into the television and throttle her on so many levels.

Because she really has no idea who he is, what he's done and how he's given up so much for regular folk like her. He is a hero, he does save lives and how dare she belittle him like that! How dare she try and diminish who and what he is!

...even though, seriously? I think that part of why he did that was because he was frightened and in his way he thought he was removing a ... a threat to his and Sam's idea of normal, keeping himself from getting too attached to something that he'd only have to leave in the end.

Badly executed though it was.

[larienelengasse.livejournal.com]

I think the thing with Dean isn't that he's ashamed of his life, because he really has nothing to be ashamed of — as you say. I think the thing is that he's proud of what he does, but he can't talk about it (obviously) and so he just has to suffer the weird looks and insults from someone "normal," and consequently ignorant, like that girl.

I had a feeling she was going to go there in his first scene with her, from the looks she was giving him when he talked about being alone with Sam and not having a curfew. There was this judgmental look on her face that pissed me off — like she was looking down her nose at him, or slumming with the bad boy, or whatever. I was not happy with her at all.

I also think that his horn dog ways are a defense mechanism. He can't get too close to people, so this is his way of keeping up the walls. However, there's something that's been nagging at me since the beginning of this show...

Dean has a really deep sense of self-loathing. It's been there since the Pilot, and it's only gotten worse given everything he's been through - John going to Hell for him, him going to Hell for Sam, what he did in Hell - I wanna know what happened to him to make him this way. susannaheanes mentions it above in her response, I think she's dead on. It could just be that he spent his entire life trying to live up to his father's ridiculous expectations of being the perfect soldier when he should have been able to be a kid, or maybe it's something more specific. It's like he thinks he has something to atone for, something that he did, or perceives he did, a long time ago. I have a feeling that might be a bomb that has yet to drop, but it comes up every once in a while. Like in the Bloody Mary episode that she mentions.

[samidha.livejournal.com]

Oh, agreed. Wholeheartedly. I just... I was bullied by a lot of girls in high school and I felt at least that part was believable. I find the psychological bullying from girls is really vicious so...

And, re: Dean being a hero, well, one would hope that he hadn't tried to explain the family business to this girl. We don't know, but so far I am going to assume he only made that mistake with Cassie. (If he did I don't think he would have gone and messed with the brunette chick.)

So it's a case of us knowing more than that girl knew.

It still sucks, it sucks a lot. But I found that part believable. I would have been more sympathetic if she'd just kicked him in the nads, as above. ;)

[samidha.livejournal.com]

I told you you were just going to come away from this ep wanting to snuggle him to bits. ;) (And other things... LOL. I think Brock was awesome as long as he wasn't talking--he has some affect issues. But yeah. Physically totally Dean.)

[angels3.livejournal.com]

It was Amanda because I would so not do that! I'm the murdering zombie girl thank you very much *hands on hips*

I agree he didn't want to meet the parents. I just want once for something to go his way damn it. I love Sam I really do but just once I want him to think Dean was what formed him not a teacher. I know he loves his brother no one can question that not after how he was both times he lost him and how desperate he was to have him back but I just want them BOTH yes I said BOTH to sit their asses down and fucking tell each other and acknowledge it.

[oc-pixie.livejournal.com]

I guess some people act outwardly when they're pissed...Amanda...I think she may have just hit him where she knew it would hurt the hardest...his ego.

I liked what she said to him simply because it showed that he was just as damaged then as he is now....and SOMEONE actually saw it.

But also...so is the joy of high school...if you don't walk away from that place physically damaged, you're at least a little mentally damaged.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

He totally is worth it. *pets*

And I dunno what girls that dude's been fighting with, but I'm terrible in an argument. I think of all my best comebacks two days after the fact. LOL. I fail at being girl!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Dang, me too. *smooshes*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, why must they hurt them more? Arent' they messed up enough. LOL. I guess I'm just a giant softie. I do see why they did that, but it didn't exactly make a good statement about brotherly love and fellowship in American youth. Okay, so yeah, that's exactly why they did it... hahaha, nothing like commenting right after I get out of bed to talk myself in circles.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, well I couldn't give up on him, but then I've known him for the better part of four years, so I got a head start on that chickie. He definitely deserves another chance or three.

And yay about LJ being back. Man, that was harsh!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

You found a stream!! OMG! Well, I hope that doesn't scare you off. LOL. It is a weird type of movie, not for everyone, but definitely intriguing.

I didn't have really a problem with teen!Dean, in general, because I kinda expected him to be not as cool as he thought he was. Though, I am kinda disappointed that after only one episode we got to see that Brock dude kissing almost as much as we've seen Dean do it in four whole years, lol.

Can't wait to see what you post. *makes grabbie hands*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Eeep, I kinda agree. I always, well back in season one I thought, but since then have abandoned it, that maybe Dean saw YED in the house that night and didn't say anything. But that's just my theory.

Um, and I'm sure it was there for a purpose, and like I said, it's totally true, and I don't think he wanted to recognize that about himself. I just think it was the wrong reason for everyone in school to turn against him. But then, I'm a giant softie, and I always jump into mother hen mode when it comes to Dean, since no one on the show seems to want to stand up for him, and he'll never do it.


Um, also, I think I'll have to screen your comment, since I doubt you'll be able to edit it now that I've replied, but someone has informed me that they didn't like being spoiled in here.

Though, personally, I've never really found any fascination in wondering why his eyes bled. Every time it comes up , I feel a little like I got stuck in a time warp. Though, now that I think on it, if it was because of the thing I speculated way back in the day, then it would be interesting to see why YED didn't kill him, since he said he'd kill anyone who interrupted. D'ya supposed he remembered Dean from ITB and said something to him? *ponders*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, probably so. I'm probably damaged by watching to many teen movies with Molly Ringwald and Patrick Dempsey in them, haha. And Dean's way more deserving of a little self worth than any character they ever played. *nods head*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I totally gave that chick more credit than I should have. She seemed nice enough to me, maybe sympathetic to Dean, but you're right, she probably always was just a judgmental little snot.

Ooh, and I replied to susannaheanes's comment with what I think it might be that Dean's trying to make up for, but that's only speculation. I think I wrote it in a fanfic way back in Season one, (my first fanfic, Go Me!) and I kinda abandoned it after that as everything got more complicated, but if y'all really think his issues go back that far, it might not be that far off.

[thestraychild.livejournal.com]

Evidently the ninja-ey type.

I'm the same, actually. Which is why I've started throwing things when I really get upset. I have great aim and it keeps them on their toes.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Haha, I thought Brock did a pretty decent decent job. I mean, to me he obviously wasn't Dean, a little bit too New Yawk for me, but for someone who just stands in for one episode, I think he did a pretty awesome job.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, I'd love that, too, but let's face it, the only way that discussion is ever happening is over a Ouija board when one of 'em's gone for good.

You know, now that I think about it, the way I almost see this handled (Dean confronting his inner issues) in fanfic, is some OC goes all mystical and wise and tells him or tells Sam. I think I even did that, but I've since realized that story as sucktastic, lol. Show actually did the same thing, just not in a very nice way. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but it just felt nasty. Oh wait, high school. Everyone's nasty in high school. LOL.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mentioned to angels3 that that's the same way they point out Dean's inner demons in fanfic most of the time. Some shiny OC goes all insiteful and calls him on it. I guess I just read too much fic, cuz I was hoping she'd be nicer about it. LOL.

But yeah, high school, what was I thinking?