What happens while gumbo is digesting...

[ht_murray]

LOL. I have grass to cut, but I was hungry when I got up, so I made a huge pot of gumbo which should last me all week. :/ Of course, I had to eat some, and no, it's not from scratch. Are you crazy?

So, now I'm too full to cut the grass. Instead, I'm checking out the stats on the story I posted, LOL. Somehow, this led to me doing an LJ search of my own name.

Things I learned by LJ searching my own name:

I will never be able to top Something Gold or White Ladder, so I should just quit fanfiction.

We Are Legend (last year's bigbang which no one read, tyvm) is the most disturbing fic someone has ever read... but totally worth it. Yay! Then it worked, LOL.

Someone on the anonmene thinks I'm pretty. *sings something from West Side Story*

A conflict between me and an ex-friend led to a mutual friend referring to me as a situation and then deleting a comment about whether it would be weird to have me around. *is sad, but not sorry, really. LOL* I am a dragon and a tiger. It's not like y'all didn't know that.

Someone asked for Generic on Storyfinders (not by name) and someone else actually linked to it, despite that fic getting less than 10 comments when posted. *sob*

Despite no one really seeming to notice when I put Living Out Loud up on LJ, just about everyone seems to know where to find it, LOL.

I apparently think that one of the Winchesters should say yes to BOTH Lucifer and Michael and let them duke it out within the one meatsuit. *amused to be misquoted* I never would've thought of that. LOL.

Despite Something Golden having to always live in the shadow of The Last Outpost, which sadly, didn't have to wait for a bigbang posting date and beat me to the starting gate, some people still think to mention it when the call goes up for post apocalyptic fic.

I have a few friends in here that really go above and beyond.

One of my friends totally outed me as writing the Nightblindness verse, despite the fact that I post it under a whole other name. (But I'm not mad, because I've been meaning to stop that for awhile now.)

--

And that's just what I learned in the first five pages. I'm allowed to laugh at myself, aren't I? Because that was gobs o' fun, even if being reminded of the actual good fic I used to write makes me think I totally shouldn't have posted the one I just did. *facepalm* But oh well. SPN inspiration is on its last half life before it becomes too small to measure, so I went with it.

So, um, what do y'all do when you're too full to get out of your chair?

Random ETA: All the posts about the 100th episode that have scenes from the past seasons has totally made me want a fic of the same premise as 5.04, only Sam and Dean from season 1 show up in Season 5. Who wants to write that for me?

Random ETA2: Just realized that if I want to meet the goal of publishing a novel length story by the end of the year, I need to submit something like NOW. I'm just a little nervous after reading a certain discussion about how published m/m fiction is mostly just as bad or worse than the badfic we can read any day on LJ for free. Urgh. It's not like I want to publishing award winning fiction, but I'd like at least someone to see it as fiction and read it as such rather than as (m/m). If that makes sense?

Wow, long post is long, and I still owe comments. :/ Sorry. I'm just a bundle of nerves. My first race is on Saturday. *bites nails*

Comments

[darkmerrick.livejournal.com]

We Are Legend was definitely one of the most disturbing things I've ever read, but that's what made it so awesome.

You ARE pretty. When I saw that I was excited that you'd gottne a positive comment from the meme!

Must go look for Something Golden to read. Don't think I was in fandom then, since Last Outpost was my gateway fic.

You are apparently popular in the world of LJ comments, huh?

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I think I need to go back and reread We Are Legend, because that story was nothing but stress for me from the moment the idea popped into my head. That, coupled with the fact that I more than half a year on it and hardly anyone commented have made me hate it so much I wish I could tear it up. But then, I dunno, it was never supposed to be pretty, and I knew when I started it wasn't going to be most people's cup of tea. Maybe now that I'm almost a year removed from it, I can read it more objectively, but I dunno.

That totally random comment on the anonmeme totally made me laugh. NGL. I think that probably means I'm due to have one of my fics shredded in there someday, and it will probably deserve it. Anonmeme or not, I tend to agree with most everything they post, which probably makes me an evil bitch. I dunno.

And do read Something Gold. IMHO, it's the ony thing of mine actually worth reading. :/

I don't know that I'm popular. I think I'm just forgettable, so whenever someone wants something of mine, they can't remember it was me, so they have to ask, and then someone else has to mention my name. I swear, just about all the stuff on the search was people looking for something I wrote but having no idea who wrote it. I dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :/

[unplugged32.livejournal.com]

HOMG, I refuse to do that because I'm terrified of what I might find!! Also, gumbo??? How can you make it NOT from scratch, 'splain, Lucy!!

{{squishes}}

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Well, if you make a lot of f-locked post, you'll probably not find much of anything. I've discovered that since dean_sam went members only on the posts, I can no longer use the search engine to get there. LJ doesn't know it exists because there are no recent public posts. Have to go through my profile to find it.

As far as gumbo, well, the store sells these really awesome soup packets. They're like 2-3.00 dollars. You add about 8 cups of water, dump in the packets, and voila. Of course, the beauty in it is that you can add whatever you like. I add chicken, black beans, rice, tomatoes and onions. Totally forgot the okra, which is a d'oh! moment, since gumbo without okra isn't really gumbo at all. LOL. I buy these packets all the time, because I can eat out of the pot for almost a week and I can add all the healthy garbage I want. I love the minestrone with extra beans, spinach, and turkey sausage meatballs. Nomnomnomnom.

[pd-singer.livejournal.com]

You will make yourself proud in that race, I just know it.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I'm so nervous! *shakes* Worst that can happen... crippling side stitch, or I trip over my feet. Otherwise, I know I can make the finish line. As for making myself proud. I think it's not in me to make myself proud for more than a second, lol.

[calamitycrow.livejournal.com]

(flails paws) YOU WILL BE AWESOME SATURDAY!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Gah! I hope so. *is scurred*

[calamitycrow.livejournal.com]

no! don't be scurred. you will be most and truly awesome.

remember how hard it was to start exercising again? and then you went and you did it, and learned that you actually liked running? so yes, you will rock it out.

(kitty smishes u)

[vanae.livejournal.com]

And now I'm thinking "oops" 'cause I just started bookmarking my stuff on Delicious and after doing several hundreds of tags I'm sorta on autopilot with the tagging... seems I've tagged you on Nightblindness, sorry (tag is gone now).

And you ARE pretty... also, race on Saturday? You'll do great!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

It wasn't you who outed me. Someone asked for a fic on spnstoryfinders, and one of my other friends said it was Nightblindness verse by tru_faith_lost, even though I posted it under glasz_housez, but oh well. Like I said, not that big of a deal. I started glas_housez because I was determined to quit posting fanfic, and then fanfic wrote itself on my computer without my permission, and I needed another persona who wasn't quitting fanfic to post it. LOL. How complicated and unnecessary is that? :P

Meh. Pretty. 'tis relative.

Soooo nervous about the race. I'll be sure to write up a report. LOL.

[heather03nmg.livejournal.com]

You're beautiful and you're going to be amazing in your first race. Good luck!

(and I finally posted the last con bit so you can go mock me please)

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

You're too nice to me. I think you want something. Whatever could it be? I already posted schmoopy porny fic this week. :P

[sexytexanjra.livejournal.com]

Firstly, YOU WILL BE AMAZING ON SATURDAY!

How do I know this given I haven't seen you run (hell I haven't actually seen you in person!). I know this because you have put in so much hard work that it is bound to have paid off! See, you can't bet logic! ;P

As for all the other stuff, it's kind of why I love and haaattttteee search engines! The temptation just gets too damn great sometimes and the sad little neglected person inside nearly every writer just can't help but look. Though really, most of that was pretty good. That in itself says a lot.

I know it doesn't mean much, but I think you are made of all kinds of awesome and would be so proud if my writing ever managed to get to a decent enough point that someone thought it was remotely in the same calibre as your writing. Not that I think that's ever gonna happen but hey, a girl can dream. For me, at the end of the day, my dreams are what get me up in the morning, not the 'has to be done's'. Even if I never get my dreams, I know that they have made me do a hell of a lot of things that I never would have done without them.

*Hugs you*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

You're always so sweet and thoughtful in your comments, and when I'm done reading them, I'm always left unable to comment with more than *blushes*.

I'll be sure to post a race report after the race so you can see if your prediction came true. It's good to know you're in my corner. :D

Search engines are fun. I never used to look myself up, but after I sold Derelict and it was available online, it sorta bugged me to know that something of mine was out there and I had no idea if people liked it or not. So, yeah, I googled it on occasion. No one ever said anything about it, so it's not surprising I made a whopping 20 bucks on it. LOL. Go Fish, on the other had was a totally different experience. Good and bad.

As for writing caliber. I don't think there's any such thing. A lot of what I see lauded as 'good writing' just sounds pretentious and overdone to me, and for all the criticism I see of badfic, there's almost always the little footnote at the end where the critic says, "but I just can't stop reading it." So, there is no caliber of writing as far as I'm concerned, only a caliber of reader. What I enjoy most in a story is being able to tell that the author had fun writing it. I don't mind cheese at all as long as I can almost see the writer smirking to him/herself. After all, the first person we have to entertain is ourselves, and if we're not entertained, the reader won't be either.

And that's my way of saying absolutely nothing of import. :P

[sexytexanjra.livejournal.com]

*giggles at ability to make you blush*

I'm glad some of you don't find me batsh*t insane and have a need to run away whenever you see my username! Nevermind, stupid anon communities are stupid.

I've come to realise that I will never be able to predict what people will actually like or not so as you say at least enjoy it yourself.

Anywoo, have a fantastic time on Saturday and I will be avidly read how it all went!

*Hugs you*

[fufaraw]

You're gonna do great on Saturday. And unless photographs lie, you are very pretty.

Just out of curiosity, I had to LJ search--there's a smattering of thanks for beta-ing, and several hits for consumes thee on p.14. Otherwise, the better known George Arliss and Arliss Howard are who come up. I kinda wanted the anonymity, so that's good, in my case.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I'll post a race report and we'll see how great I do. LOL. I'm trying to keep fairly low expectations.

As far as LJ-search not turning up a lot of results, if I'm not mistaken, you post a lot under flock? The search engine only shows public posts and comments. So, if you post under flock or comment on flocked posts, the search engine won't show them. I was telling someone upthread that since dean_sam made posts locked to members only I can no longer find it on the search engine and have to go through my profile to get there. I'm lazy about locking things, or if I do lock them, it's usually after the fact. The comment I found that referred to me as 'a situation' in my friend's journal had already been deleted, but it was in a public post, so somehow the search engine still had the gyst of it. I'm not sure how I feel about that. While it's obvious this person never intended me to see it, she did still ask about it in a public post where anyone could see it. And I can only guess what the reply was. Sigh.

But yes, search engines can be all kinds of fun, and also good reminders that everything you do on the internet is fair game, so honesty is always the best policy.

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Good luck on Saturday!!

xx.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Thanks, love!

[storydivagirl.livejournal.com]

1) I never thought to search myself on lj, mostly because I'm so off the radar, I doubt I'd come up (thankfully)

2) Always go for it with your writing. Hell, there is plenty of bad published fic in all genres, but if you write a good book, it will find an audience in someone.

3) Good luck with the race!