Lalalalalala...

[ht_murray]

I'm sure there was a reason I opened this post box, but now I cannot remember what it was. LOL. It's because I have not slept yet. *sigh*

Um, so, we're probably actually going to finish our bigbang draft. It's over 17000 words now, but I really do not know how it ends. It wants to be happy, happy death!fic, and I do not DO death fic, even if if it is happy, happy, ya know?. Anyway, anyone on my filter might actually get a real summary and some decent snippets come next weekend. *crosses fingers*



So, I like the episode. I'm overall not in a happy place when watching the show, just because the angst makes me a little sick inside, but I LOVE every episode. *nods* I'm so happy to see things moving forward at a decent clip.

That being said, I realize people had "issues" with this week's epi. I really didn't. I've never really give much thought to John except what he means to Dean. (and to Sam, of course.) So, yeah, no love or hate for him, just your average frustration.

Anyway, I said to hubby who watched the episode in real time, whereas I had to watch it recorded, (stupid work) that people were really feeling this episode ruined John. He said, "Why?" *honest puzzlement* I said, because of how he treated Adam, blah, blah. And hubby, made of infinite wisdom (except when he says Sam is right, in which case, I chase him out of the room) said, "Well, maybe he learned from his mistakes with Dean and Sam and didn't want to make them with Adam."

I can live with that. :)


I'm using Firefox. Safari was taking so long to load and crashing my comp if I stayed online more than a few hours. I know! Just get off line, stupid! But whatever. I have always had trouble with Firefox dumping my add-ons and revertng back to default every time I rebooted. But so far so good, and might I say, I like the LJ add-ons. But overall, I still hate the way Firefox LOOKS. Is there any way to get a decent looking font that doesn't look all scraggly and washed out?

It's working really well, though. *knocks on wood*

I've come to decision on Dreamwidth. I signed up for my OpenID and verified my email. If they actually do give invite codes to everyone with a verified email on the 30th, then I will take a look around and probably open an account.(No way in hell I'm paying for one.) But it won't be a fandom journal. It won't have this username. I won't be crossposting everything in twenty places. Nor diverting comments over there. Y'all will probably not even see me. I'm thinking of life after fandom. I don't intend on joining any other fandoms, and when this one peters out, I will happily be fandom-less. (I'm kinda addicted to The Deadliest Catch, but I don't think it has a fandom, and if it does I don't want to know. It's really the only other show I watch besides Ghost Hunters and sometimes American Idol.)

I just do not see the point of going somewhere else to do what I already do here. I just don't. And while the idea of really huge posting limits for comments strikes me as good, I don't get the need to have a 50,000 word posting limit for an entry. Can people really read 50000 words in one sitting? Don't they lose their places? I just... yeah, 10,000 words in a story part are more than enough, and very convenient for actually conducting my life between chapters.

So, there's that. If I open an account, it will probably be somehow related to my penname, and it will be one of those sad little blogs with no comments on it, and I'm fine with that. LOL.

Anywho, now I need to shower or something, because Dan's gonna expect me to go grocery shopping seeing as how I'm not sleeping... I hate the grocery store. Stealing my monies! :(

OH, Oh, oh, oh, one more thing. So, I was doing my Jari Love, "Ripped" DVD, which I haven't in awhile, and I laughed when Jared asked Gaylene if she watched what she ate, and Gaylene said, "I watch it as it goes into my mouth." Ahh, I forgot how that DVD makes me laugh. You know, Jari Love is Canadian, I think, and I watched that DVD like ten times, before I realized that, when she said, "Good on ya," she wasn't complimenting some chick named Anya who was lurking just off camera. *is done amusing myself. Sorry there's so much showing outside a cut, but I only wanted to cut the epi stuff, and yes, multiple cuts work, but you can still see what's behind one when you click another, so I don't really do that very often.

P.S. Where the Hell is the PREVIEW button on the post box?!! Ah, the joys of testing a new browser.
----------------
Now playing: Brand New - The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
http://foxytunes.com/artist/brand_new/track/the_boy_who_blocked_his_own_shot

Comments

[rebekahfair.livejournal.com]

I agree with your hubby. John found out about the kid... 2002-ish? Around the time Sammy was storming off to college because he hates his life and hates hunting. John had a clean slate with Adam; a chance to start over and do things right this time. Yeah, he messed up with Sam and Dean, but I think he was trying to make up for that with Adam.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I agree, too. It's like those lawsuits where people say, "Hey, this dude knew it was a liability, because he took X precaution AFTER I got hurt." They never win those cases, because, ya know what? People make mistakes, and they're supposed to learn from them, not be afraid of changing.

*is late for my shower, dammit*

[angels3.livejournal.com]

I loved the episode even though it made me sad that the boys never actually got to meet Adam and Adam never knew he had brothers.

It pissed me off at John though. I mean he saw how much it meant to Adam to do those father/son things but he couldn't ever do that for Dean or Sam. I realize he was trying to fix what he messed up with them through Adam but he should have been trying to mend some bridges on the other side.

I don't do death fics like at all *wails* Here you are writing one so now what am I going to do.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I do totally get why people are frustrated with John. I won't say pissed, and I don't really feel any need to defend him. I just can see how he did try to do the right thing with Adam. Sam's demon blood most likely played some role in how he dealt with Sam and Dean, but I'm not gonna say that's an excuse, especially since we don't really know how long he knew about that.

Epi made me sad, too, but I did still love it.

We're really trying to write it as not a deathfic, though I fear it may have to be one of those with an alternate ending, because it feels like it needs to be death fic. Le sigh.

[ysbail.livejournal.com]

Yay for 'Happy' death!fic ... I always look forward to you posting something so - yay...

As for the latest episode kerfuffle - John wasn't a saint, he made mistakes. There was no way he was going to be celibate until his dying day and it's inevitable that one of his one night stands led to something he wasn't anticipating. Adam had a mother who was alive and raising him, he'd had a life of normal. John couldn't provide that for his older boys - they'd already experienced too much pain, too much loss and too much of what lurked in the dark. He couldn't protect them from it, and he couldn't change it. Maybe Adam gave him the chance to be the father he always wished he could be. It sucks for Dean (and Sam), but John died for Dean, he didn't do that for anyone else.

And I've done the same thing with DW - though I've got this username so I'm probably stuck as ysbail even though I've been harbouring ideas to change my username...

And as for other fandoms? I can't believe how much I've been consumed by this one ... I think there won't be another after .. at least not one that is so important to me. (Unless Jared and Jensen sign up for something in the future that brings them together again ...)

Take care ... don't seem to be seeing enough of you these days.

♥

[angels3.livejournal.com]

I don't think he found that out until much later. I've never been a very strong John fan and I've heard we're going to get some insight on his parenting in one of these last episodes. I just wish he'd have tried before the end of his life ya know.

Make sure to tag it happy ending there was another stoy someone was doing but it was a death fic and I just die inside when I read those but apparently they have an alternate ending too so now I can read it :)

[darkmerrick.livejournal.com]

I'm overall not in a happy place when watching the show, just because the angst makes me a little sick inside, but I LOVE every episode. THIS! This is what I've been feeling this whole season but I couldn't put words on it.

Man, there are so many Firefox themes, you can make it look pretty much how you want. just gotta sift through them.

I read 50,000 words in one sitting sometimes. :)

[maboheme.livejournal.com]

I'm use to the John hate in fandom, so I'm use to ignoring fandom when it comes to John, lol. I love John. He wasn't perfect, but neither are his sons. I think that's the point of the show, lol.

I'm thinking of life after fandom. I don't intend on joining any other fandoms, and when this one peters out, I will happily be fandom-less.

We totally share this in common. Life after fandom! I want one! It's sad that part of me was excited by the idea of SPN ending this year b/c that meant I could pretty much leave fandom, lol. When I heard it was getting a S5 I was a bit frustrated, but silently happy that I could give myself ONE more year in fandom. After that, I'm gone. I will be happily fandomless. There's pretty much no other show I'm interested in putting this level of devotion into.

I mean I have my issues with fandom, but overall I do know that fandom has been great in a lot of ways. It's giving me the desire to write again. It's introduced me to so many concepts and ideas about writing and creativity and expression. I will always carry with me the cool things I learned. But as a whole fandom is too much of a crutch and time-suck. I won't be able to really sit down and try my hand at doing pro-fic full-time when I know I can procrastinate and write fanfic instead, you know?

*smooches*

<3

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

I agree with your hubby, so I'm ignoring any nasty comments about John.

I've done the same with Dreamwidth, but again I don't think I'm gonna be using it.

I was in the Angel fandom before SPN, but I think this is it for me too!

ACK! you aren't really writing a death fic are you?

[hoveringon.livejournal.com]

I get John's reasoning, but I'm still irked at him. It would have been nice to let Dean and Sammy have a break from their intense lives and do something fun once and a while. Damn, one day a year even, it would have made a small pleasant memory for both the boys.

I don't intend on joining any other fandoms, and when this one peters out, I will happily be fandom-less.

Me too, my friend. I feel like my fandom days are numbered. I had fun with hp, the oc, oth, house..etc, but I don't care about joining anything else after this. I love this show to death, but it's so stressful keeping up with everything. I'm actually thinking once spn is over I'll be done with lj, posting rl anyway. I'll probably just lurk and read fanfic from time to time.

[jane-eyre.livejournal.com]

If you like Safari you'll probably like either this (https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/7540) or this (https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/10291) theme for Firefox since both gives you the look of Safari. There are some other pretty good ones out there since you actually have a lot of ones to choose from. If Firefox is dumping your add-ons it's probably your settings that's causing the problems. I use mainly Firefox and haven't had that problem, but I have had to help my mom with hers.

I'm addicted to The Deadliest Catch too. They actually do have a fandom, which I have managed to avoid, but you didn't hear about it from me. ;)

[sams1ra.livejournal.com]

I agree with your husband on that whole 'not repeating the same mistakes' thing. Also, I never thought John was a monk. He's a good lookin' guy, and I'm guessing he taught Dean more than just one pickup line ;)
I'm sorry he kept it a secret though. I truly believe that, had he told Dean about Adam, and explained to him that he didn't want the boy to have any connection to the supernatural, that Dean would have stayed away. It only shows trust - or lack of it, at least imo.
But Adam's not John's kid anyway, and I'm refusing to believe otherwise. *lalalalalalalalala*

[astri13.livejournal.com]

Anyway, I said to hubby who watched the episode in real time, whereas I had to watch it recorded, (stupid work) that people were really feeling this episode ruined John. He said, "Why?" *honest puzzlement* I said, because of how he treated Adam, blah, blah. And hubby, made of infinite wisdom (except when he says Sam is right, in which case, I chase him out of the room) said, "Well, maybe he learned from his mistakes with Dean and Sam and didn't want to make them with Adam."

I can live with that. :)

I gotta say while I might even believe this to be true, it makes me more mad at John. If he had an epiphany about fatherdom, well, Dean and Sam might have been older but they were not dead. They weren't even in Timbuktu. So, I don't see an excuse why they shouldn't have profited from it, too. Of course that would have taken effort and been inconvenient.

So basically, picture me watching this episode, waving a bag of snacks at the screen threateningly and, through a mouth filled with peanuts, mumbling out "dickwheezle" at various points. *g*

[chocca2.livejournal.com]

It wants to be happy, happy death!fic, and I do not DO death fic

I'm all for the happy happy,we is gonna point this baby in the right direction, babe, don't you worry, AWAY from the death!fic.

*puts creative hat on*

[datenshiblue.livejournal.com]

There is no other theme for Firefox besides

(https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1542).

Also, I postulate that your hubby and me would get along on matters SPN. ;D

[sarahk-63.livejournal.com]

Agrees with apieceofcake on every point 'cept the Dreamwidth one...> that's me in the corner trying to work out how to join Dreamwidth..cause all my eljay friends are migrating there - they aren't using it instead of livejournal, just in conjunction with their livejournal accounts.

I still play in the Angel fandom sandbox...currently still a member of Whedonverse and Beyond, this site plans to hold a story writing contest via livejournal linked to their forum homepage in May 2009.

And finally, or more importantly tru_faith_lost, did you have a good shower, hot water, good pressure, nice bodywash? Or tick all of the above.

take care, sarahk_63 (dislikes grocery shopping too)

[samidha.livejournal.com]

Sam is trying his best, man, and in an impossible situation. If you really want to take Sam out back for doing the only thing he can anymore... D: DNW.

Not to be wankful, but man, why can Sam not catch a break? Why does it always have to be: Oh here are all my thoughts also PS SAM YOU SUCK.

D:

(Obviously it's not just you, and also obviously, yes, I have a default position of defending Sam, but really, he does not need more fault piled on him.)

[almightyspaz.livejournal.com]

I liked the ep, wasn't my fave, but I liked it.

Life after fandom.... I got Torchwood and Dr. Who so I'm good. And maybe Sanctuary as long as the douche nozzles over at Scifi.. oh wait "SYFY" don't cancel it.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm not blaming John in any way whatsoever. But it's hearbreak times one million for me on behalf of Dean, because he never ever had what Adam had the chance to have with John :/

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Aw, that comment had nothing at all to do with Sam in this episode or even in a recent episode. That actually went back to a discussion, "fight" my hubby and I got in way back in Season 3. I remember it was right before Bad Day at Black Rock and the little opening montage was playing. There was some shot of the boys bickering or something, and Dan, my hubby, (I'm pretty sure just to piss me off,) said something to the order of, "Sam's right. Dean's an asshole." And I told him to get the hell out. And he went and pouted in the other room for the rest of the episode. I feel bad about that now. LOL.

So, that comment about Dan thinking Sam's right was only about that little tiff we had and not about anything that's happening right now. In fact, I totally understand what Sam's feeling right now, even if I don't agree with his actions. Like I've said to a few other of my friends, I don't think we're supposed to like where he's at with his actions right now.

So, no need to get all defensive. That was totally out of context. *pets Sammy* Uh, both Sammys, LOL.

*smoosh*

[samidha.livejournal.com]

LOL. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to jump on you, it was just totally out of context and you KNOW the Sam wank... so... yeah... *wibbles* *smishes him, smishes you* :D

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I tend to think he didn't know about the demon blood until later, either, but if he's only known Adam for the last six years or so, then it's possible he knew about the demon blood then, and maybe that's why he didn't make the effort to fix what he did to Sam and Dean. But again, I don't know. I just figure two wrongs doesn't make a right, so at least he tried with Adam, and to me that says he at least knew he didn't do right by Sam and Dean. Half the battle is admitting the problem, right?

And we're gonna try for a happy ending. I have seen more death fic popping up lately, and I don't even read fic much, so for me to notice, it has to be popping up. I don't like death fic and dont' read them, but I do understand how writers feel like it's the best ending for the story. That's what I'm struggling with at the moment. *crosses fingers*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I know! We really dont see enough of each other lately. This makes me sad, but I think we're both posting less, and since I don't read much fic at all, I don't see you in the comment threads like I used to either. *glomps you*

Yes! John died for Dean and no one else. I keep telling myself that, too.

I don't want any other fandoms. I realize now, after all these years, that I enjoy watching shows much more when I don't have the influx of other people's opinions on how I'm supposed to view what I'm watching. 20/20 hindsight, ya know?

I don't want to write death fic. Hopefully chocca can talk me down off that ledge. *trembles*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm glad I could summarize that thought for you. Too bad it's kind of a depressing thought. LOL.

It's not my Firefox theme I don't like. I got one that looks a lot like Safari which was what I was using, but it's the FONT that bugs me. I'm pretty sure it's the same font, but it's not as strong as it was in Safari. Everything looks skinny and cheap, like a knock off version instead of the real deal, ya know?

But I am loving these add-ons. I can read behind an LJ cut without having to open the entire post and all the comments. HOly Hell! The amount of time that could save a girl, LOL. And I don't lose my place when I click back to the page and find out twenty other entries have posted and moved my spot onto the next page. oy. Also, love this random icon selector thing, because I'm the lazies icon picker I know. Default all the way, bb.

I might be able to read 50000 words in one sitting, but I wouldn't want to do it on a computer. I mean, if you get up for some reason or have to come back to it, it would be really difficult to find the spot you left off in a giant wall of words like that. It makes my brain hurt. OUCH!.

*glomps*

[darkmerrick.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it kind of is...huh.

Try going under Tools-->Options-->Content to change the font, maybe? I'm not sure if that'll work, I know some fonts are custom to the theme you're using.

I had that LJ add on for awhile too, but I guess I just like don't things the way I've always done them, cuz I got tired of all the stuff. Although I do find myself using my default an awful lot lately.

I just highlight the part I leave off and come back to it. lol. There's probably a reason I'm half blind.

<3

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I dont really have any feelings on John except that Tracer's IM box has had the title "I Miss Big Poppa" since IMTOD. So, I tend to see John wank and not get all defensive about it. I can usually see both sides, but I don't think I could hate him. He did give us Sam and Dean, ya know?

And life after fandom. I don't think I was wanting the show to end after this season, but I was not upset at all when the rumors about LJ disappearing started going around. I was like, well, that'd suck from the standpoint of me having a permanent account, but at the same time, it'd be a clean break from something that causes me a lot of angst. I've learned a lot from being in fandom, and my writing's grown a lot, but the thing it drove home the most is that I'm a loner fo a reason. I don't play well with other kiddies, and I'm tired of feeling like that makes me wrong. So, yeah, rather than flounce and make a scene, I think I'm stuck in a holding pattern waiting for fandom to move on without me and try to balance that out with feeling like I never really mattered here in the first place. *g*

So, here's to life after fandom. May we both be prolific and lucrative and, uh, stay in touch as friends and writers if not fangirls. *smishes*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Haha, yeah, people are allowed to see the error of their ways and try to do better going forward, ya know?

So far I've just logged in with open ID and waiting to see if I'll get a code that way. I haven't really even looked around much, but yeah, probably won't use it.

I probably would've been in Buffy fandom if I'd been around at a time when I watched it. I never knew there was such a thing as fandom until Supernatural. Probably would've been in Dark Angel fandom, too, but now I don't even go looking there unless I'm bored. LOL.

Um, turns out it's not death fic. Though I'm not entirely convinced that wouldn't be the most fitting ending. I think we can all live with this, even Sam and Dean. ;)

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Yup, I did have a good shower. And then we went out to the feed barn for steaks. yum. skipped the grocery store altogether. Woohoo!

*smoosh*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I don't know which theme I have now, but I know I picked it because it looks like Safari. Everything except the font. I hate the font. I mean, I think it's the same font face, but it's not the same... I dunno what you call it... STRENGTH? Not sure. It just looks flimsy and cheap.

I think my settings are fine now, but we'll see what happens. It's starting to run just as slow as Safari, so I'm probably going to have to reboot soon. Sigh.

Deadliest Catch is awesome, though a little depressing. I got to admit to be a little grossed out by the processing plant, though. Ugh. I don't eat seafood, but I don't mind the fishing stories. LOL.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Haha, I like a girl who's firm in her beliefs. *tickles*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, I get the feeling a lot of people watched the epi that way. I was kinda pissed on Dean's behalf, but I figure if Dean can get over it, I can too. I guess I'm just ambivalent about John. I don't usually read or write anything John centric either.

But now I'm LOLing about "dickwheezle." Bwahahahaha!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I think we worked it out! Yay us!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

LOL, well, I picked a theme that's pretty similar to Safari, though this one kinda tickles me in all it's OTT glory. I have to ask, though, since you linked it, as I was browsing add-ons, I saw a lot that said I had to upgrade Firefox to use them, even though I just reinstalled it yesterday with the latest version of Firefox and when I browse for updates, I don't find anything more recent. Any idea why that is?

And you probably would agree with my hubby on most things SPN. Though, I'm pretty sure he says the things he says just to get my goad and not because he actually believes them. In fact, if I make a conscious effort not to let him get to me and explain why I disagree, he usually changes his mind. LOL. he just likes to pick.

Oh, and I should point out that the comment about chasing him out of the room had nothing at all to do with anything about Sam in this season. It was a little tiff we had back in season 3 about something so stupid and random I don't even remember, and I had posted about it once up on a time, so it was an allusion to that. I don't really think anyone remembers that post, so I can see how that comment would be taken out of context as picking on Sam, and it totally wasn't.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

We so do not need show stress on top of RL stress! Hear! Hear! (here?)

And yeah, there's a lot John could've done differently, but there's not much that can be done about it now.

I hope your toothache's better, sweetie.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Haha, I keep hearing about Torchwood form all my slashy friends, and strangely, I never happen to see it unless my HUBBY turns it on. Hahahaha. I think I'll watch it when it's over.

Also been hearing good stuff about Queer as Folk. Maybe I should check that out, but no, no fandoms for me. Too much stress.

I don't trust Scifi any more than I trust Fox. I mostly only watch their godawful original movies to restore my faith that anyone can write a script and get it made into a movie. LOL.

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

I know, me too. It just adds to the idea that Dean never got any kind of break in his whole life. *sobs*

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Ah, no worries. It was out of context. I did once post about that particular spat we had, but that was ages ago, and I hardly think anyone who was on my flist at the time remembers it. So, it was waaaaaaay out of context.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Good luck for your bigbang. Is it finished now? :D

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

Meep! No. Only in my head. LOL.

Good luck on yours!

[ewanspotter.livejournal.com]

I'm just waiting of LJ to retaliate, maybe up the word length, etc.