ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I'm working on a giant speculation/meta post. Me!

I hated the episode last night so much my brain just runneth over. Ugh, I totally fail at keeping my mouth shut. If it's any consolation, I'm always wrong about these things.

But, I just wanted to warn you so when it pops up in a day or so (I'm actually not sure I should post it at all) you won't be like "Wow, THAT's random."

As for other writing stuffs, in case anyone's wondering.

The Overboard rewrite which was for [ profile] whenboymeetsboy but is now NOT since the deadline is way passed is hovering around 18000 words or so, including what's in my notebook, and as I see it, probably only a third of the way into the second act, so this could be a 30000 plus word fic. But I'm having a ton of fun writing it. I just worry it's going to come off as stupid and corny... le sigh, but hey! Have you SEEN the movie? *shrugs*

Our bigbang is probably around 9000 words and barely into the second act. I'm starting to worry about this one, but I have learned the fine art of writing an entire scene in one or two sentences and hoping for late post date so that I can flesh it out in the rewrite. I wish I could give hints as to what it's about, but I really don't think we're supposed to. I also fear the subject matter will be so touchy by the time it's written that no one will want to read it.

My WIPs continue to languish. But for those of you wondering NO! I haven't dropped them. I really want to finish Sin Nombre in one chapter rather than two so the wait will be worthwhile and bring some closure to that scenario. Cracked is still in progress. I have no idea how long that one will be. Crop Circles is giving me fits as the original story plan was for something epic and greater than 50000 words, probably approaching novel length, but I think maybe that's too ambitious and if I'm going to commit that much time to it, I should just write it as original fiction. That being said, I will continue writing the J2, but it might not be quite as involved as I had originally imagined it.

Nightblindness verse continues to suck my soul. I really want that one to make the transition to original fiction. It's already over 30000 words, and I'm finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel, but right now bigbang is keeping me from tying that up as well. Oh, and then there's Wintersong. Crap!

But the good news is, show has been so depressing I have no desire to start new fiction to burden myself further. LOL.

Although Tracer gave me a good idea last night... DAMN!

Anyway, I'll post the meta in a day or so, and that might end up being the last thing I have to say about show until it's over, because really, I'm tired of the drama.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
So, I sold my soul.

You can buy it HERE .

And that's all I have to say about that.

*is dirty*
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
This song makes me feel weirdly nostalgic.

It also makes me want vid of this song.

I have this story in my head that fits it, but I have no vid making ability whatsoever.

In my head, this is Dean POV. He's either just back from Hell and can't find Sam because Sam's totally gone off the deep end and demonizing the country side... or it's later. Either way Sam's gone darkside and Dean's chasing him across the country, not sure what he'll do when he finds him... *sob*

I suppose could also be Sam in the same situation, but I keep thinking Dean.

Music Playlist at

Makes me goosebumpley...
Cut for rambling about writing and reading that really has no relevance at all... )
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Now, I'm not gonna complain about being productive. I'm actually pretty tickled with myself. Since I posted a couple days ago about all the hundred billionty stories I have rolling around in my head, I've spent the last three days hashing out the better part of three really long involved stories. This is rare for me, people. I almost always go into a story with just a vague theme, some idea what I want to do with character development, and hope the road opens before me. But since I have so many working at the same time, I knew I'd lose them if I didn't do something with them ASAP.

Helps that I managed to get Tracer to go in with me on one as a new screenwriting project, and my super secret special friend volunteered to cowrite another.(I promised to keep it Gen, lol.) Having someone else excited about my ideas is strong motivation to get them worked out. So, Wednesday morning when I got off work, instead of going to bed, I spent most of the morning working the script out with Tracer. Snuck in a few hours of sleep in the afternoon then got back on IM with Tracer Wednesday night.

Yesterday morning, I hammered out a tentative synopsis and fired it off to my super secret friend (I forgot to ask her if it was okay to mention her name. lol.) Then got on IM with her most of the afternoon, snagged a couple hours of sleep between SPN and Jimmy Kimmel, then talked over our script til after 1 a.m. on IM again. Slept for a few hourse. Then got up to feed the horses, intended to go right back to bed, swore not to check my email or my flist, but ooooh no. I did anyway. Then, I couldn't sleep, so I hammered out a rough outline for the Overboard rewrite between answering emails. Another 1500 plus words.

So, in the last three days, I've written probably six thousand words, and none of them have been actual fic. I totally fail. Not only that, but I've not been back to sleep since I got up this morning, and I have to leave for work in ten minutes.

Again... I'm so screwed.

But mighty fulfilled. I feel guilty as hell for taking so long with my WIPs, but it's nice to have so many places to go when I get stumped on something else.

If you don't hear from me. It means I've either buried myself in fic or died. No worries either way. LOL.
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
I have a small confession to make. So, I'm not answering my phone or checking my mail. I'm just not. Nothing in there I can deal with, BUT, last night Tracer emailed me and told me to get my ass out there and check the mail, because she sent me a cool ass card.

So, I did.

And Tracer's card wasn't there. Mostly just what I already knew, bills I have no way to pay, lol, BUT (see now, these are the good buts, lol, how often does that happen?)

BUT there was a card from the lovely [ profile] vanae. HONEY!!!! Your card was gorgeous. I have to admit staring at the envelope for several minutes wondering who the heck do I know from Denmark? LOL. And then I opened it. EEEE! The little angel made me cry. I dunno why. That's been happening a lot lately, but I adore it so much. Thank you.

and now back here for the less squeeful stuff )
ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)
Man, yesterday I was bumming, wasn't I? Wanna know how bad it was? It was so bad that watching this video made me cry like a baby.

Warning: People falling off horses a LOT.

Wherein I talk about life and realizing I've fallen off the horse, tl;dr )

You know what my journal says?

January 17, 2005:

Ration and logic are the tools by which we unknowingly allow our minds to cloud our hearts.

Enlightenment is simply giving yourself permission to believe what you already know is true.

It also says:

January 18, 2005:
Science does not preclude or negate faith. It merely offers the occasional opportunity to glimpse, in no uncertain terms, that which we have believed to be true all along.


A prayer is a rational mind's way of communicating with an irrational heart.

January 26, 2005:

It is a sad irony that the sheep depend on the shepherd for protection when it was the shepherd who made them helpless to begin with.

January 30, 2005:

Knowledge without experience is not learning, and experience without learning is not wisdom. Knowing that you do not know the answer to a question when life presents it to you is 90% of learning the answer. The wisest man knows only one thing for certain, and that is that he has more to learn.

January 31, 2005:

The biggest contributor to destiny is where you are and what you are doing right now.

February 4, 2005:

So much of our lives outside of Heaven are wrapped up in the mundane and the trivial. Yet, a great part of who we are as people is determined by what we do when what we do doesn't really seem to matter.

True peace is not calm. It is not mundane. It is the resolution of true conflict, not the avoidance or absence of strife.

Choosing to know the joy in everything you do, despite conflict... that is Heaven, and you don't spend a lifetime preparing to go there. You live there every day.


You know, there was a time when all of that made perfect sense.

It doesn't anymore.

I guess I have a lot more to learn.


ht_murray: little girl, cheeks, blue rose (Default)

June 2015


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